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wombat1138This story is from the Kenzan Hanaya circle and takes up the first half of the small full-color doujin "Souzaiya Fifth Shop"; the Yamaguchirow story "Morning Mission" takes up the second half. (Presumably I'll get to that later.) The art style isn't nearly as detailed as Yamaguchirow wrt scenery, shading, anatomy, facial expressions, and so on; still, it's pretty enough, and there aren't that many Kenshin/Tomoe doujinshi out there, though I think I may have another K/T from this group (the art style definitely looks familiar).
It appears to take place in the house near Otsu, at least judging from the bits of wood panelling that appear in the background. I'd guess that this is their first night there, based on the title: "Honeymoon". All of the major lines seem to belong to Kenshin, aside from a few sound effects. Given the circumstances of guarded reserve on all sides, possibly this isn't the best scenario for gauging the artist's skill with facial expressions; OTOH, it's difficult not to compare it with Yamaguchirow's "A Distant Thunder".
Usual disclaimer: I have no idea what I'm doing, except for juggling a lot of reference books and web lookups. Please do not convert these into English-language scanslations, or I will be cross.
Format key--
Frame/balloon order is from right to left and from top to bottom. The kana for "tsu" is sometimes used to indicate a glottal stop, as in a sudden gasp or an abrupt break in speech; in those cases, I'll transcribe it as "*" instead.
Narrative descriptions
= raw romaji: [kanji], hiragana, KATAKANA, words-linked-inna-phrase, (handwritten marginalia), ~sound fx~
(Every so often, I splat down a comparison from wot-club's IY translations, which indicate kanji with CAPS instead of [brackets].)
- expanded transcription: grammatical contractions unpacked from the raw transcription if necessary (e.g., "inna" <- "in a") or other analysis
= raw gloss: [word function]*, literal-translation
*functional abbreviations: [T]opic, emphatic [S]ubject, [O]bject, unidentified [P]article, [C]opula, [Q]uestion, emotional/factual e[M]phasis; [aX] (animate existence), [iX] (inanimate existence), ["] (quotation), [rQ] (rhetorical question)
[snarky notes]
-- "occasional coherent(ish) translations"
Pagination: #N#
Framebreaks: +++ (sometimes I leave these out if nothing much happens in each frame)
Balloonbreaks: | (if I compress several short balloons into the same line of text; otherwise, I just start a new line for each balloon. Usually. On the other hand, sometimes I use these to break up individual lines in a single longish balloon.)
No visible page numbers as printed, so I'm assigning the beginning of the story as page 1.
With all of these lines, I'm not sure yet whether he's actually speaking them out loud or if it's just internal monologue. I should probably note what sort of balloon each one of them is in from the start: smooth balloons ")" or rectangular boxes "]".
#1#
Kenshin is sitting against the wall in a loosely wrapped blue kimono. Tomoe is between him and the door, doing something with her hair-- drying it? It isn't tied back, although her hair-ribbon shows up later; next to her, there are small handwritten kanji, "[yukata]", so she may have just returned from the bath.
)= [kimi]-wo konna [tokoro]-ni [tsu]rete-kite <[fuufuu]> to shite [ku]rashi hajimeta
- "tsurete kite" <- -te form of "tsurete kuru" (bring along, come along with?) <- "[tsu]reru" (accompany): "travelling alongside"
["fuufuu" is emphasized with corner brackets]
- "kurashi" <- "[ku]rasu" (lead/spend one's life): "way of life, means of existence"
= you[T] this-way in-place/time travelling-alongside and doing lifestyle began
-- "You've come here with me and we've started to live like a married couple"
)= demo... [ore]-wa yoku [shi]ranai n'da
- "yoku" <- irregular adverb from "ii"/"yoi" (good): "well"
- "shiranai" <- neg. of "[shi]ru" (know, understand): not-know/understand
= but... I[T] well not-know [M][C]
-- "But... I really don't understand"
)= [futsuu]-no [hitochigai]-no [ku]rashi to-iu mono wo...
- "hitochigai" <- "[hito]" (person) + "[chiga]" (stem of "[chiga]i" Idifference) and "[chiga]u" (differ from)): "mistaken identity" or perhaps "alias"
= ordinary alias's lifestyle ["] thing[O]
-- "The sort of ordinary life that we're disguising ourselves in..."
(or maybe "...that we're pretending at", depending on whether you go with his serious proposal of marriage in the manga or the vaguer circumstances in the OVA.)
#2#
)= [nani]-ga [hitochigai] de |[nani]-ga [hitochigai] ja-nai nante
= what[S] alias being[C]/from(?) | what[S] alias isn't[C] how/what
-- "How much of our life together is a pretense, and how much of it is real?"
)= dare-ga kimeru mono demo arimasen
= who[S] decide thing but isn't[iX]
- "dare": who, anyone, someone, or nobody, depending on the context
-- "But no one else is deciding that for us."
+++
(handwritten next to Tomoe as she does something with his kimono)
= (KAZE hikimasu yo...)
- the phrase "kaze wo hiku" is an idiom for "catch a cold"
[Maybe she does get to have a line of dialogue after all, though it doesn't really make sense to me compared with the actions being shown.]
-- "(You'll catch a cold...)"
~pasa~ (cloth rustling)
+++
She touches his hand, I think.
)= [watashi]tachi-ga [haji]meta [seikatsu] desu kara
- "watashitachi": first-person plural pronoun, "we/us", based off the relatively neutral "watashi" rather than the more masculine "ore" he used earlier... or is this Tomoe speaking now, which would probably shift the pronunciation to "[atashi]tachi"?
- "seikatsu": daily life, way of living; I'm not sure how this differs in meaning from the earlier "kurashi"?
= we[S] began daily-life is[C] because
["hajimeru" is transitive; at the end of a sentence, "kara" can indicate ominous, unspecified consequences.]
-- "We're the ones who began to live this way, and so..."
+++
)= [Tomoe]...
[Smoochage begins ("n*..."); not going to bother with most of the moans this time.]
#3#
He pulls Tomoe into his lap: ~GUI*
And hikes up the hem of her yukata to finger her, with a bit of suctiony noise: ~*pu *pu | chu* ~
Producing a shiver of pleasure from her: ~zoku*~
+++
)= motto... [koe]-wo [ki]kasete kure... [Tomoe]
- "kikasete" <- "kikaseru" <- causative of "kiku" (hear): making-hear
- "kure" <- "kureru" (give to me, do for me)?
= more... voice[O] let-me-hear(?)... [name]
-- "Tomoe... let me hear more of your voice..."
He scoots down to smooch her below the belt. Er, sash:
~puchu* | *pu*...~
#4#
Obediently, she produces some audible moans ("a... | a...a*") as he licks more vigorously: ~PICHIRO*...~
+++
]= [fuufuu] to-[i]u ni-wa amari ni-mo | [setsuna]-[teki]-na...
["ni" can mark an indirect object; the "ni wa" pair of particles sometimes marks a contrasting situation. "Ni mo" may be adding another indirect object?]
- the "teki-na" suffix is one way of converting a noun to an adjective, so "setsuna" (instant, moment) -> "setsuna-teki-na" (instantaneous, momentary)
= married-couple ["] to[S] too-much to-also | momentary
[Loosely chunking together: "As far as being called a 'married couple', it's also too much, for the moment..."]
-- "So far, we're not what most people would consider truly married..."
+++
With her yukata completely off now, Tomoe clambers up over his lap while he holds her steady: ~GUN~ (clutch?)
]= soshite | [doko]-ni [naga]re [?]ku | tomo shirenai [tayo]ri [na]i [kankei]
- "nagare" is a noun; the corresponding intransitive verb would be "[naga]reru".
[The mystery kanji either belongs to "[tsu]ku" (touch) or "[ki]ku" (wear).]
- "tomo" seems like a rather complicated particle; it might mean "including" in reference to the immediately preceding noun(s)?
- "shirenai" <- neg. of "shireru" <- potential of "[shi]ru" (know; the direct negative would be "shiranai"): "can't know"
= and-then | in-what-place stream/flow touch/wear(?)| [P] can't-know reliance/trust not[iX] relation/connection
[More chunks: "Therefore, where this course of events takes us | <-including can't know; this relationship isn't the same thing as trust"?]
-- "But there's no way to know what this relationship might become. Can we trust each other?"
#5#
Squishy noises of initial docking: ~nuchu* | zunu*~
+++
Tomoe gasps, with rather jagged balloon outlines:
>= u... fu...uu
And trembles: ~furu*~
+++
There is some quiet heavy breathing from someone (Kenshin?):
)= haa* | ha...
And he says her name in kana:
)= to... moe*
While some squelchy pumping begins:
~ZUCHU* | ZUCHU* ZUCHU*~
[Art moment: suddenly, her hair ribbon appears, looped around her upper arm. Where the heck did that come from? Her yukata already came off several panels ago, so it's not just a matter of her storing it inside her sleeve and accidentally snagging it back onto her arm as she stripped down. Its only purpose seems to be giving her something to modestly bite down on, muffling her moans at the bottom of this page. Unless she was hoping to strangle him with it, but that doesn't seem likely either.]
+++
Posture change; they pivot from the vertical down to the horizontal. I'm not sure whose idea this is; the first speech balloon is next to Kenshin's face and seems jaggedly surprised ("...N!!") but it's difficult to read much from his expression.
+++
More jagged moans; the second one is written with three separate kana (syllabic "n" + the vowel "u" + the glottal stop "TSU"), not just the single syllable "nu" plus a glottal stop.
>= n*... | n'u*
Much rumpety-pumpety:
~JUPU* | JU* | NUPU*~
#6#
Someone (probably Kenshin) moans sharply:
>= nn*...
There is shocky trembling up near their heads:
~BIKU* | BIKU*~
And orgasmic spurty pumps down at the business end:
~GICHU* GICHU*~
+++
And another moan:
>= u*... ku
And a very squishy orgasmic shock:
~BIJU*~
+++
At the bottom of the page, there's an odd diptych of Kenshin and Tomoe facing away from each other in separate panels, both of them with sweat or tears running down their faces; her eyes are open and his are closed.
The very last panel has some narrative(?) boxes over a background sketch of pink cherry or plum blossoms, in various stages from closed buds to loose falling petals.
= [shuumaku] sura [yokan] shi-nagara sore-demo [jibun]-no [chikara]-wo [shin]jite-ita
- "shuumaku": apparently a term from drama for the final act or closing scene
[what's "sura"? wot-club suggests "not even"?]
[The "-nagara" suffix attaches to verb stems to mark two simultaneous clauses with the same subject; "neko-wa sakana-wo tabe-nagara nyaa to-naku" = "the cat wails 'meow' while eating fish"-- but does the "shi" it's attached to come from "shiru" (know) or "shinu" (die)?]
= closing-scene not-even premonition while-knowing/dying(???) in-that-case self's strength[O] was-believing/trusting
[Chunks: "while-knowing/dying not even premonition last-scene, in that case was-believing/trusting self's-strength"]
[Impressionistic guesswork: "While not knowing any premonition of how things would end, he believed in his own strength"-- without any pronouns, this could also be framed from Kenshin's point of view: "...I still trusted my own strength"]
[Argh. See next line.]
= [ryoute]-de [mamo]reru mono-no [genkai]-wo [shi]razu-ni
- "mamoreru" <- potential of "[mamo]ru" (protect): "can protect"
- "shirazu" <- neg. participle of "[shi]ru" (know): "not knowing"
= both-hands-from can-protect thing's boundary/limit[O] in-not-knowing
[Chunks: "The limit of being able to protect from both hands, in not knowing"]
[Guesswork: "Without knowing he could not protect (her) from his own hands"]
[@_@x; I think the translation organelle in my brain cell has shut down again. Lumping together the guesswork from both lines into something which may or may not be correct (all pronouns can be switched to I/my/me; strawberry eggs optional):]
-- "Having no premonition of how his life with Tomoe would end, he still trusted his own strength to protect her, not knowing that he would be unable to protect her from himself."
Handwritten note at the end:
= (unya-- gomen yo-- )
["unya"? I still have no idea WTF is "unya". I suppose the writer/artist is apologizing ("Sorry!") to Kenshin and Tomoe for the eventual tragic outcome to their happiness, such as it was... not that they seem all that happy here, but at least they're both still boffingly alive.]
It appears to take place in the house near Otsu, at least judging from the bits of wood panelling that appear in the background. I'd guess that this is their first night there, based on the title: "Honeymoon". All of the major lines seem to belong to Kenshin, aside from a few sound effects. Given the circumstances of guarded reserve on all sides, possibly this isn't the best scenario for gauging the artist's skill with facial expressions; OTOH, it's difficult not to compare it with Yamaguchirow's "A Distant Thunder".
Usual disclaimer: I have no idea what I'm doing, except for juggling a lot of reference books and web lookups. Please do not convert these into English-language scanslations, or I will be cross.
Format key--
Frame/balloon order is from right to left and from top to bottom. The kana for "tsu" is sometimes used to indicate a glottal stop, as in a sudden gasp or an abrupt break in speech; in those cases, I'll transcribe it as "*" instead.
Narrative descriptions
= raw romaji: [kanji], hiragana, KATAKANA, words-linked-inna-phrase, (handwritten marginalia), ~sound fx~
(Every so often, I splat down a comparison from wot-club's IY translations, which indicate kanji with CAPS instead of [brackets].)
- expanded transcription: grammatical contractions unpacked from the raw transcription if necessary (e.g., "inna" <- "in a") or other analysis
= raw gloss: [word function]*, literal-translation
*functional abbreviations: [T]opic, emphatic [S]ubject, [O]bject, unidentified [P]article, [C]opula, [Q]uestion, emotional/factual e[M]phasis; [aX] (animate existence), [iX] (inanimate existence), ["] (quotation), [rQ] (rhetorical question)
[snarky notes]
-- "occasional coherent(ish) translations"
Pagination: #N#
Framebreaks: +++ (sometimes I leave these out if nothing much happens in each frame)
Balloonbreaks: | (if I compress several short balloons into the same line of text; otherwise, I just start a new line for each balloon. Usually. On the other hand, sometimes I use these to break up individual lines in a single longish balloon.)
No visible page numbers as printed, so I'm assigning the beginning of the story as page 1.
With all of these lines, I'm not sure yet whether he's actually speaking them out loud or if it's just internal monologue. I should probably note what sort of balloon each one of them is in from the start: smooth balloons ")" or rectangular boxes "]".
#1#
Kenshin is sitting against the wall in a loosely wrapped blue kimono. Tomoe is between him and the door, doing something with her hair-- drying it? It isn't tied back, although her hair-ribbon shows up later; next to her, there are small handwritten kanji, "[yukata]", so she may have just returned from the bath.
)= [kimi]-wo konna [tokoro]-ni [tsu]rete-kite <[fuufuu]> to shite [ku]rashi hajimeta
- "tsurete kite" <- -te form of "tsurete kuru" (bring along, come along with?) <- "[tsu]reru" (accompany): "travelling alongside"
["fuufuu" is emphasized with corner brackets]
- "kurashi" <- "[ku]rasu" (lead/spend one's life): "way of life, means of existence"
= you[T] this-way in-place/time travelling-alongside
-- "You've come here with me and we've started to live like a married couple"
)= demo... [ore]-wa yoku [shi]ranai n'da
- "yoku" <- irregular adverb from "ii"/"yoi" (good): "well"
- "shiranai" <- neg. of "[shi]ru" (know, understand): not-know/understand
= but... I[T] well not-know [M][C]
-- "But... I really don't understand"
)= [futsuu]-no [hitochigai]-no [ku]rashi to-iu mono wo...
- "hitochigai" <- "[hito]" (person) + "[chiga]" (stem of "[chiga]i" Idifference) and "[chiga]u" (differ from)): "mistaken identity" or perhaps "alias"
= ordinary alias's lifestyle ["] thing[O]
-- "The sort of ordinary life that we're disguising ourselves in..."
(or maybe "...that we're pretending at", depending on whether you go with his serious proposal of marriage in the manga or the vaguer circumstances in the OVA.)
#2#
)= [nani]-ga [hitochigai] de |[nani]-ga [hitochigai] ja-nai nante
= what[S] alias being[C]/from(?) | what[S] alias isn't[C] how/what
-- "How much of our life together is a pretense, and how much of it is real?"
)= dare-ga kimeru mono demo arimasen
= who[S] decide thing but isn't[iX]
- "dare": who, anyone, someone, or nobody, depending on the context
-- "But no one else is deciding that for us."
+++
(handwritten next to Tomoe as she does something with his kimono)
= (KAZE hikimasu yo...)
- the phrase "kaze wo hiku" is an idiom for "catch a cold"
[Maybe she does get to have a line of dialogue after all, though it doesn't really make sense to me compared with the actions being shown.]
-- "(You'll catch a cold...)"
~pasa~ (cloth rustling)
+++
She touches his hand, I think.
)= [watashi]tachi-ga [haji]meta [seikatsu] desu kara
- "watashitachi": first-person plural pronoun, "we/us", based off the relatively neutral "watashi" rather than the more masculine "ore" he used earlier... or is this Tomoe speaking now, which would probably shift the pronunciation to "[atashi]tachi"?
- "seikatsu": daily life, way of living; I'm not sure how this differs in meaning from the earlier "kurashi"?
= we[S] began daily-life is[C] because
["hajimeru" is transitive; at the end of a sentence, "kara" can indicate ominous, unspecified consequences.]
-- "We're the ones who began to live this way, and so..."
+++
)= [Tomoe]...
[Smoochage begins ("n*..."); not going to bother with most of the moans this time.]
#3#
He pulls Tomoe into his lap: ~GUI*
And hikes up the hem of her yukata to finger her, with a bit of suctiony noise: ~*pu *pu | chu* ~
Producing a shiver of pleasure from her: ~zoku*~
+++
)= motto... [koe]-wo [ki]kasete kure... [Tomoe]
- "kikasete" <- "kikaseru" <- causative of "kiku" (hear): making-hear
- "kure" <- "kureru" (give to me, do for me)?
= more... voice[O] let-me-hear(?)... [name]
-- "Tomoe... let me hear more of your voice..."
He scoots down to smooch her below the belt. Er, sash:
~puchu* | *pu*...~
#4#
Obediently, she produces some audible moans ("a... | a...a*") as he licks more vigorously: ~PICHIRO*...~
+++
]= [fuufuu] to-[i]u ni-wa amari ni-mo | [setsuna]-[teki]-na...
["ni" can mark an indirect object; the "ni wa" pair of particles sometimes marks a contrasting situation. "Ni mo" may be adding another indirect object?]
- the "teki-na" suffix is one way of converting a noun to an adjective, so "setsuna" (instant, moment) -> "setsuna-teki-na" (instantaneous, momentary)
= married-couple ["] to[S] too-much to-also | momentary
[Loosely chunking together: "As far as being called a 'married couple', it's also too much, for the moment..."]
-- "So far, we're not what most people would consider truly married..."
+++
With her yukata completely off now, Tomoe clambers up over his lap while he holds her steady: ~GUN~ (clutch?)
]= soshite | [doko]-ni [naga]re [?]ku | tomo shirenai [tayo]ri [na]i [kankei]
- "nagare" is a noun; the corresponding intransitive verb would be "[naga]reru".
[The mystery kanji either belongs to "[tsu]ku" (touch) or "[ki]ku" (wear).]
- "tomo" seems like a rather complicated particle; it might mean "including" in reference to the immediately preceding noun(s)?
- "shirenai" <- neg. of "shireru" <- potential of "[shi]ru" (know; the direct negative would be "shiranai"): "can't know"
= and-then | in-what-place stream/flow touch/wear(?)| [P] can't-know reliance/trust not[iX] relation/connection
[More chunks: "Therefore, where this course of events takes us | <-including can't know; this relationship isn't the same thing as trust"?]
-- "But there's no way to know what this relationship might become. Can we trust each other?"
#5#
Squishy noises of initial docking: ~nuchu* | zunu*~
+++
Tomoe gasps, with rather jagged balloon outlines:
>= u... fu...uu
And trembles: ~furu*~
+++
There is some quiet heavy breathing from someone (Kenshin?):
)= haa* | ha...
And he says her name in kana:
)= to... moe*
While some squelchy pumping begins:
~ZUCHU* | ZUCHU* ZUCHU*~
[Art moment: suddenly, her hair ribbon appears, looped around her upper arm. Where the heck did that come from? Her yukata already came off several panels ago, so it's not just a matter of her storing it inside her sleeve and accidentally snagging it back onto her arm as she stripped down. Its only purpose seems to be giving her something to modestly bite down on, muffling her moans at the bottom of this page. Unless she was hoping to strangle him with it, but that doesn't seem likely either.]
+++
Posture change; they pivot from the vertical down to the horizontal. I'm not sure whose idea this is; the first speech balloon is next to Kenshin's face and seems jaggedly surprised ("...N!!") but it's difficult to read much from his expression.
+++
More jagged moans; the second one is written with three separate kana (syllabic "n" + the vowel "u" + the glottal stop "TSU"), not just the single syllable "nu" plus a glottal stop.
>= n*... | n'u*
Much rumpety-pumpety:
~JUPU* | JU* | NUPU*~
#6#
Someone (probably Kenshin) moans sharply:
>= nn*...
There is shocky trembling up near their heads:
~BIKU* | BIKU*~
And orgasmic spurty pumps down at the business end:
~GICHU* GICHU*~
+++
And another moan:
>= u*... ku
And a very squishy orgasmic shock:
~BIJU*~
+++
At the bottom of the page, there's an odd diptych of Kenshin and Tomoe facing away from each other in separate panels, both of them with sweat or tears running down their faces; her eyes are open and his are closed.
The very last panel has some narrative(?) boxes over a background sketch of pink cherry or plum blossoms, in various stages from closed buds to loose falling petals.
= [shuumaku] sura [yokan] shi-nagara sore-demo [jibun]-no [chikara]-wo [shin]jite-ita
- "shuumaku": apparently a term from drama for the final act or closing scene
[what's "sura"? wot-club suggests "not even"?]
[The "-nagara" suffix attaches to verb stems to mark two simultaneous clauses with the same subject; "neko-wa sakana-wo tabe-nagara nyaa to-naku" = "the cat wails 'meow' while eating fish"-- but does the "shi" it's attached to come from "shiru" (know) or "shinu" (die)?]
= closing-scene not-even premonition while-knowing/dying(???) in-that-case self's strength[O] was-believing/trusting
[Chunks: "while-knowing/dying not even premonition last-scene, in that case was-believing/trusting self's-strength"]
[Impressionistic guesswork: "While not knowing any premonition of how things would end, he believed in his own strength"-- without any pronouns, this could also be framed from Kenshin's point of view: "...I still trusted my own strength"]
[Argh. See next line.]
= [ryoute]-de [mamo]reru mono-no [genkai]-wo [shi]razu-ni
- "mamoreru" <- potential of "[mamo]ru" (protect): "can protect"
- "shirazu" <- neg. participle of "[shi]ru" (know): "not knowing"
= both-hands-from can-protect thing's boundary/limit[O] in-not-knowing
[Chunks: "The limit of being able to protect from both hands, in not knowing"]
[Guesswork: "Without knowing he could not protect (her) from his own hands"]
[@_@x; I think the translation organelle in my brain cell has shut down again. Lumping together the guesswork from both lines into something which may or may not be correct (all pronouns can be switched to I/my/me; strawberry eggs optional):]
-- "Having no premonition of how his life with Tomoe would end, he still trusted his own strength to protect her, not knowing that he would be unable to protect her from himself."
Handwritten note at the end:
= (unya-- gomen yo-- )
["unya"? I still have no idea WTF is "unya". I suppose the writer/artist is apologizing ("Sorry!") to Kenshin and Tomoe for the eventual tragic outcome to their happiness, such as it was... not that they seem all that happy here, but at least they're both still boffingly alive.]
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no subject
on 2006-06-13 08:22 pm (UTC)Another translation!
Sugoi!
*and I have this doujinshi - all thanks to you, wombat-sama!*
no subject
on 2006-07-01 06:55 pm (UTC)Wombat-san, ne, wombat-san!..
Are you planning to finish this translation? I mean - till the very end?
no subject
on 2006-07-02 01:45 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-07-02 07:02 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-08-12 02:32 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-08-12 10:47 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-08-13 01:04 am (UTC)w00t i have seen that one of the members have upload it at megaupload for others to download >.>;;; but unfortunately, i cannot download from megaupload!!!! *cries* can i ask you a favour? if you dun mind, you upload it for me on sendspace or any send files sites? ;__; thanx in advance~~
no subject
on 2006-08-13 04:12 am (UTC)