Poison (RK: Lenz/Takuto-Con E/K)
Oct. 1st, 2006 08:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wombat1138A change of pace from the usual Yamaguchirow K/K-- this doujinshi is still based on Rurouni Kenshin; in fact, it's the first RK (or indeed any) doujinshi I ever bought. When I got it, I was fairly new to RK and Viz hadn't even licensed the English-language version of the original manga yet, so I only knew the vague outlines of the Jinchuu Arc although I was already developing a crush on Enishi. So at the time, while I knew this Enishi/Kaoru story was likely to be somewhat noncanonical, I wasn't really sure how much it diverged.
As it turns out, rather a lot. Instead of the Six Comrades and Wu Heishin, Enishi has a support staff of other bishounen (a few of them have cameos at the beginning of this story, but there's a much larger cast involved in a complex drama throughout several more doujinshi by this circle). I don't have a good idea who they are, but there's a lengthy preface which might need to be translated as well to give a better idea of what's going on and why.
The general style is significantly different from Yamaguchirow-- instead of Kaoru having voluptuous boobage despite everyone's chibi-esque body proportions, the character designs here are long and lean. Facial expressions are somewhat more limited, and tend toward cool elegance rather than sweaty passions. The sexual content is also much less explicit, both in terms of detail and general presentation. And jeez, there's a lot of (small blurry) kanji in the first few pages-- Lenz uses kanji for a lot of common words which Yamaguchi usually leaves in kana.
Progress: done, I think; or at least dragged more or less all the way to the end with about as much doneness as I'll be likely to ever manage.
Standard (in)accuracy disclaimer: I have no idea what I'm doing, except for juggling a lot of reference books and web lookups. Please do not convert these into English-language scanslations or I will be cross, and there's a good chance they'd be wrong anyway.
Format key--
Frame/balloon order is from right to left and from top to bottom. The kana for "tsu" is sometimes used to indicate a glottal stop, as in a sudden gasp or an abrupt break in speech; in those cases, I'll transcribe it as "*" instead.
= raw romaji: [kanji], hiragana, KATAKANA, words-linked-inna-phrase, (handwritten marginalia), ~sound fx~
(Every so often, I splat down a comparison from wot-club's IY translations, which indicate kanji with CAPS instead of [brackets].)
- expanded transcription: grammatical contractions unpacked from the raw transcription if necessary (e.g., "inna" <- "in a") or other analysis
= raw gloss: [word function]*, literal-translation
*functional abbreviations: [T]opic, emphatic [S]ubject, [O]bject, unidentified [P]article, [C]opula, [Q]uestion, [N]ame; [aX] (animate existence), [iX] (inanimate existence), ["] (quotation), [+] (honorific), [rQ] (rhetorical question), [mM] (emotional emphasis), [fM] (factual emphasis)
Narrative descriptions
[random notes]
-- "occasional coherent(ish) translations"
Pagination: #N#
Framebreaks: +++ (sometimes I leave these out if nothing much happens in each frame)
Balloonbreaks: | (if I compress several short balloons into the same line of text; otherwise, I just start a new line for each balloon. Usually. On the other hand, sometimes I use these to break up individual lines in a single longish balloon.)
While the front cover of the doujinshi has the title Poison, the main story has the different title "Sell My Soul". Based on captioned portraits in the back, Enishi's hench-bishounen are named "Reifan" and "Suou"; since I don't think those names quite match up with the Japanese pronunciations for the kanji they're written with, they're probably meant to be Chinese, which would make sense if they're part of Enishi's organization from Shanghai.
The cover is *gorgeous*: a full-color glossy wraparound of Enishi and Kaoru loosely entwined, lying in a pool of violet mist. Both of them are directly staring out toward the viewer; Enishi has a feral, challenging expression and I can't quite articulate the emotions on Kaoru's face, which looks... I dunno, resigned? guilty? fatalistic? but she's not struggling and is reciprocating his embrace. On the back cover, there's also a strange gizmo clamped onto her bare thigh: a black band with an unsheathed dagger clipped to the outside by its hilt. There's a chain attached to the gizmo which loosely runs up to below the hem of her robe; perhaps it fastens to her waist?
No apparent printed pagination; first fully-illustrated page assigned as #1.
#1#
Portrait of Kaoru standing in a long, narrow slip-like dress similar to the one slightly visible below her robe on the front cover. Her eyes are closed and she's loosely holding the back cover's dagger close to her chest, point down. There's no sign of the thigh-gizmo; the slip runs down to below her knees.
Captions are printed in white on black backgrounds, which usually indicate inner thoughts.
= [tsumi]-ni naranai <[satsujin]>-wo [shi]tte-imasu ka?
["satsujin" is emphasized with square corner brackets]
- tsumi: crime/sin; the entire phrase "tsumi ni naranai" (lit. "doesn't become into a crime") appears in a Futaba-kun fan translation as "it's no crime"
- "shitte imasu" <- formal for "shitte iru" <- pres. prog of "[shi]ru" (objectively know/learn): "already knows" or "is currently aware of"?
= not-a-crime murder[O] is-aware [Q]
-- "Being aware of *murder* isn't a crime in itself, is it?"
= demo, sono [kota]e-wa...
= but, that answer/solution[T]
[Based on a fantrans of the Ranma endsong "Let's Be Platonic", the meaning of "sono kotae wa" may be closer to "the answer to that question" than the simple phrase "that answer".]
-- "But, the answer..."
#2#
Black on white captions, still in front of Kaoru holding the dagger:
= [dare]-ni-mo [rikai]/(waka)-ranakute ii
[The kanji for "rikai" (understanding/comprehension) are given the furigana "waka" (stem of "[waka]ru" (subjectively know/understand); there are several of these furigana doublets throughout. These two aren't grammatically parallel since "rikai" is a noun, though it can be used as a verb in the phrase "rikai suru"; however, the suffix "-ranakute" isn't a possible form of "suru", so really this boils down to "[waka]ranakute" with a substitute kanji.]
- "dare ni mo": semi-lit'ly "and in/to who" or "to who else"; idiomatically "nobody"
- wakaranakute <- -te form of "wakaranai" <- neg. of "[waka]ru": "not understanding"
[The whole phrase "dare ni mo wakaranai" pops up several idiomatic translations: "Nobody knows the truth" or "Can you keep a secret", though I can't pull up enough examples to figure out how much of those are supplied by other contexts.]
= nobody is-not-knowing well
[Adding stuff to connect these lines to the previous ones]
-- "...is something that nobody really understands..."
= [dare]-kara-mo [oshi]eraretakunai
- "dare kara mo": this paper about the interrogative uses of the particles "mo" and "ka" glosses the sentence "Kugyo-ga dare-kara-mo kuru-to komaru" [kugyo: complaint (noun); komaru: hate (verb)] as "I hate it if everyone complains", in contrast to "Kugyo-ga dare-kare kite-mo komaru" and "Kugyo-ga dare-ka-kara kuru-to komaru" (both "I hate it if someone complains" and "Kugyo-da kare-kara kuru-to komaru" ("I hate it if he complains")-- the distinction is apparently that in this context, "mo" is a "universal" marker whereas "ka" is an "existential" one?
- "oshieraretakunai" <- neg. of "oshieraretai" <- desid. of "oshierareru" <- passive or potential of "[oshi]eru" (teach/inform): "doesn't want to be told" or "doesn't want to be able to tell"?
= everyone doesn't-want-to-be-told
-- "...and nobody wants to to learn."
These next lines are in hazily outlined balloons, around an image of Enishi. He seems to've just returned from somewhere and has just taken off his jacket. He has about three earrings in his left ear, although none of them is the usual yin-yang disc that he wears in canon and on the front cover. (In the first few images Watsuki used to introduce the Yukishiro sibs, Tomoe wore the same disc design as an obi clasp in Kenshin's memory of her, although this didn't appear in the actual extended flashbacks-- I wonder if there was some further background concept about that which Watsuki abandoned.)
= [anata]-ga... | [anata] sae sono [imi]/(kotae)-wo [obo]ete-ite kureru nara...
[It's pretty rare to see "anata" written in kanji-- sometimes this second-person pronoun is used in relatively distant, formal situations, but sometimes it's also used by a wife addressing her husband. These particular kanji have the alternate pronunciation "kihou", an even more intimate wife-to-husband address.]
- "imi": meaning/intention; "kotae": answer/reply
- "oboete ite" <- -te form of pres. prog of "[obo]eru" (remember/memorize): "is still remembering/memorizing"
- [-te] kureru: do something for me
- nara: equivalent to the -ba "logical consquence" conditional form of the regular copula "da"
= you[S] | you at-least that intention/answer[O] still-remembers-for-me if-so...
-- "But you... | if at least you remember this answer for me..."
Unseen speaker:
= BOSU
[yargh-- I initially misread "busu" for "bosu" (katakana loanword for "boss"), so the following comment should probably be ignored... except that otherwise, I don't know how the title "Poison" relates to the story after all :b ]
- busu: usually, an extreme insult used to call women "deeply hideous" or "fugly"; Yahiko is fond of applying it to Kaoru in this sense. The insult may or may not be linked to a more archaic meaning for the word: "poison", which is presumably what is meant here instead and provides the context for the main title on the cover.
-- "Master."
#3#
Bishounen #1 welcomes Enishi home. He has shoulder-length dark hair and a dark-bodied jacket/vest.
= o[kae]ri nasaimase...
- nasaimase <- formal imperative of "nasaru", already an honorific verb for "do"
[An extremely formal version of "welcome home".]
-- "I welcome your return to this house."
Caption:
= [Kou] [Reifan]: [Enishi]-no [buka]
- Kou(?): I'm not sure if a definite pronunciation is given for his family name, but "kou" is my first randomish guess. This kanji is commonly pronounced "kurenai" and means a particular shade of scarlet or deep pink which was once limited to high-ranking women of the Japanese Imperial family, especially during the Heian era. That color is coincidentally rather close to the vivid fuchsia of Kenshin's gi in the anime, although for various reasons it would've been very unlikely that the original plant-based "kurenai" dye would've been what he was actually wearing, though it could've come from other sources like imported aniline-dye mauve.
- Rei: an unusual kanji for "black".
- Fan: not a normal Japanese pronunciation for this character at all; it's probably based on the Mandarin "feng". It means "male phoenix", and is the same kanji used for the name of the "Ohtori" Academy in Utena.
-- "Kou Reifan: Enishi's subordinate"
More caption:
= ([soshiki]-no [saikou] [kanbu] [kyuu]-no [chuushin] [jinbutsu])
= organization's greatest executive/staff grade/class's center figure
-- "(a central figure in the organization's highest executive level)"
Reifan:
= o-[tsuto]me go-[kurou]-[sama] deshita
- kurou: difficulties
[The entire phrase "go-kurou-sama" is a formal phrase of thanks to someone for their hard work, usually given to subordinates although the addition of the formal past-tense copula "deshita" amps up the politeness even more, making it suitable for praising superiors.]
= [+]-duty [+]-labor-[+] was[C]
-- "Your diligent leadership always inspires us."
Enishi is unwinding the long scarflike thing from around his shoulders-- as a family fashion accessory, it's vaguely similar to Tomoe's shawl-thing but is longer, narrower, and a different color. I tend to associate Enishi's scarf with Tomoe's obi, since IIRC they're the same color and probably similar dimensions.
= ...[maikai] [katakuru]shii [seji]/(aisatsu)-wa yose [Reifan] [yokei] [tsuka]reru...
- yose <-? yoseru ("approach" or "allow nearby")
[From a fan discussion of the Japanese version of the LOTR movies: Denethor's line "Do you trouble me with Faramir...I know his uses, and they are few" was subtitled as "Yatsu no hanasi wa yose. Yakutatazu da" whose direct translation is given as "Stop talking of that scum. Useless."]
[Aha-- I think this is a completely different "yose" adapted from a term from the game of Go, in which "yose" is an exchange of territory near stable boundaries; since a lot of small "yose" moves tend to happen toward the end of a game, the meaning is often generalized to "endgame" or "final phase"... and can also be popped back up to a different verb "yoseru" which means to make the "yose" moves or to end the game... so the "hanashi wa yose" idiom works out to the imperative "make an endgame of the conversation!", or much more brusquely, "shut your yap".]
[...or actually, it comes from the same root after all; the gameplay term is named for the borders *approaching* each other. Dang, this is way cool.]
= every-time stiffly-formal compliment/greeting[T] finish! [N]-- excess get-tired
-- "You're as formal as ever, Reifan-- knock off the compliments, I'm too tired..."
[Don't know whether Enishi is specifically tired of courtesy overload, or just too tired in general.]
= --aitsu-wa doushite'RU?
[(originally wrote this note for the previous line, when I was wondering if "se" might've been a typo for "ze") Enishi has *very* brusque diction, ending a lot of sentences with "ze"/"zo" etc.; he refers to himself as "ore" (oddly, considering the general trend of the rest of this doujinshi, "ore" is usually written out in katakana instead of with kanji) and addresses Kaoru with the not terribly respectful "omae".]
- aitsu: a rude word for "that person"
- doushite: "how/why"; "doushite iru" --> ~"how are things", "how are you doing", "what's up?"
-- "--So what's going on with THAT person?"
#4#
Bishounen #2 has shorter dark hair and a light jacket/vest; he's also holding Enishi's scarflike thing now.
= [Kaoru]-san desu ka? BOSU-ga [yotei] yori [haya]ku [kae]tte-[ku]ru to-[shi]tte [taisou] [gai](???) n'de 'rasshaimashita yo...
["gai", if that's what that kanji is, is an indistinct blob of ink with only a few distinguishing shapes for me to guess from. @#*(@*#@. There are several kanji in here like that. We hates them. Ssss.]
- "to shitte" <- -te form of "to shiru" (shiru: intellectually know/learn); similar to the quotation phrases based on "to iu" (iu: say)
- rasshaimashita <-? chopped off from "irasshaimashita" <- past tense of "irasshaimasu" <- formal of "irassharu", a formal verb for "come/go/exist": "very honorably came/went/existed"? (cf. "irasshaimase", the formal imperative used by shopkeepers or waitstaff to welcome customers)-- otoh, there's another claim that sometimes "-rasshaimasu" is tacked onto verbs as an independent suffix to show respect, though I suspect that usage is a mutation of the usual "-te iru" present-progressive since the example given for the "suffix" usage follows the -te form of the verb being modified.
- "n'de rasshaimashita" <-<-? "no de irassharu" <- vy. formal equiv. of "no de iru": "being in the state/condition of" w/ factual emphasis?
= [N][+] is[C] [Q]? master[T] plan/expectation than/from quickly coming-home knowing-that extreme(ly) malice/injury(???) [fM]was-being[C][++] [X]
[Second sentence -> chunks: "knowing about Master coming home earlier than expected" "extreme anger/hurt" "was certainly being"-- what function does "taisou gai" have? The closest template I can find in Naoko Chino's book of sentence patterns is "[noun]-ga [verb]-te arimasu": "[noun] is already in the state of [verbing]", or more simply, "[noun] has been [verbed]" ]
-- "Do you mean Kaoru-san? Master, it's dangerous for her to know that you came home earlier than expected."(?????)
[I probably have the wrong identification for the supposed "gai" kanji, but I really can't figure out what else it might be.]
Caption:
= ([Ri] [Suou]: [soshiki]-no No.4)
- Ri: again, not sure of the intended pronunciation; the kanji means "plum" in the concrete sense of the tree/fruit/flowers, not the more abstract color. I think.
- Suou: the first kanji means "revive/rehabilitate"; the second one means "perfume/fragrance".
- soshiki: organization; "No.4" is in romaji.
-- "(Ri Suou: #4 in the hierarchy)"
[A slightly ominous touch; there's a taboo on the number four in several Asian cultures because it can be a homonym for the words "death" or "die".]
Back to Reifan again; he chuckles: ~kusu~
= ...tada [imadoki] [fun] mou [oso]i node [shinshitsu]-de [yasu]mareta [yousu] desu ga
[feh-- for a while, I was muddling about because of having incorrectly identified the "yasu" kanji as "karada" (body), which has a cross-stroke near the base that "yasu" doesn't have.]
- yasumareta <- past of "yasumeru" <- potential of "[yasu]mu" (rest, discontinue): "could sleep"
- ga: can connect two clauses/sentences, usually contrasting them w/ each other; at the end of the sentence, adds a trailing implication of "yes, but..."
= only recently amount already tardy because from/in-bedroom could-sleep appearance is[C] but
-- "...A little while ago, it looked like she was able to fall asleep in the bedroom because it was already late, but..."
Enishi:
= sou KA... ORE mo mou [yasu]mu [torihi]ki-no [shousai]-wa [Suou]-ni [ki]KE
- kike <- brusque imp. of "[ki]ku" (hear/listen/ask)
= that [Q] I too already rest business-transactions' details[T] in/to-[N] listen!
-- "Is that right...? Well, I'm going to sleep now too. Suou, take care of the business details."
Suou:
= hai
-- "Yes, sir."
Enishi has now taken off his own jacket and is down to his long trousers and sleeveless shirt. (Woohoo! Yeah, baby, take it all off!) The jacket rustles (~BASA~) as he slings it over his shoulder.
= sore-kara ORE-ga [o]kiru-made [dare]-mo [buzoku]-ni [chikazu]kisaseru NA
- "chikazukisaseru na" <- neg. imperative <- "sa"-insertion into "chikazukaseru" <- causative of "[chikazu]ku" (approach): "don't cause to approach", "don't bring nearer"
= from-that I[S] until-awaken nobody in/to-section don't-approach
-- "Don't let anyone go near that part of the house until I wake up."
#5#
Reifan:
= --[gyoi]...
= will/pleasure (part of a stock phrase of obedience)
-- "--as you wish" or "--at your command, sir" etc.
Enishi heads off to wash up. Sadly, this process is not shown. When he's done, he returns to his room (I think?); the door clicks as he opens it: ~KACHA~
#6#
He has a towel loosely draped around his shoulders, over (hopefully) a fresh set of clothing (they look like the same dark sleeveless shirt and side-striped long trousers). Kaoru does look asleep, but she's curled up on some cushions on a Western-style sofa, not in bed. Oddly, *she* is wearing his usual yin/yang-disc earring.
This may actually take place outside in a garden or something; an outdoor sky was shown on the previous page, and there are plants directly beside the sofa in the next one.
= [Kaoru]? | [o]kite-iru no ka?
-- "Kaoru? | Are you waking up now?"
#7#
He leans down and runs one hand over her hair: ~SARA*~ (a smooth, dry, sliding sound)
= konna [basho]/(TOKORO)-de [ne]te'ru to... | [kaze]-wo-[hi]ku ZO
= this-way from-room/(place) is-sleeping and | catch-a-cold [X]
-- "If you keep sleeping outside like this... | you'll catch a cold."
[Alternately, the "outside" bit might just be "out of bed".]
#8#
He scoops her up in his arms and starts to carry her to bed. She's still groggy:
= ...n | [Reifan]?
Enishi twitches angrily (~PIKU~) as she continues speaking:
= ii yo [jibun]-de [aru]keru
- aruku <- potential of "aruku" (walk)
-- "It's okay, I can walk by myself."
#9#
Unceremoniously, Enishi drops her:
= ...OI | [dare]-ga [Reifan] da 'tte!?
-- "...HEY | Just who are you calling 'Reifan'!?"
Kaoru: ~DOSA*~ ("thud")
= kya
-- "Yeek!"
Caption:
= [otona] [ki] nee shishi ([wara])
[This is the second time recently that I've seen what looks like the hiragana for "shishi" in a margin comment... I'm tipping away from my initial interpretation as two sweatdrops toward an actual sound effect, though I can't find a listing in my guides: a sardonic snicker through grinning teeth?]
= adult spirit [rQ] [snicker] (smile)
-- "(He's acting so mature-- heh.)"
#10#
Enishi:
= [Kaoru] [kota]e
- kotae: answer/solution
-- "Kaoru-- answer me."
At least she seems to've landed on something soft-- a larger surface than the sofa, so she must not've made her slip of the tongue until they were back to the actual bed. She has a slight blush and a wide, blank smile that made the wombat-consort ask what drugs she was on.
= o-[ne]ri-nasai | [Enishi]!
[From "[ne]ru", sleep; parallel construction to the stock "Welcome home" phrase "o-[kae]ri-nasai" (from "[kae]ru", return)]
-- "Welcome back to bed-- | Enishi!"
She sits up and glomps him (~gyu~), which doesn't stop him from thinking to himself:
= ... [ko]re-wa hagurakasareta-no ka?
[Or separate phrases: "hagura ka sareta no ka"? possible root verbs: "hagu" (peel) -> pot. "hageru"; "haguru" (stray) -> caus. "haguraseru"? Not "hagukumu" (raise, bring up).]
- hagura <- ?
- sareta <- past of "sareru"? <- potential of "saru" (go away) or passive of "suru" (do): "could leave" or "was done"?
[The verb "hagurakashite" appears in several webpages, so it could be one long verb after all: the song lyric "hagurakashite bakari hontou no in your heart" is translated as "You're only evading what's in your heart; similarly, "Ano hi kimi no yume wo hagurakashite gomen" = "Sorry that I avoid your dream that day"... "haguraka-suru" = "avoid/escape"? I'd feel happier if I could find anything solid for "haguraka" by itself.]
- hagurakasareta <- past of "haguraka-sareru" <- passive of "haguraka-suru" (avoid): "was avoided"
= this[T] past-avoidance [Q]
-- "She didn't answer my question, did she?"
#11#
She murmurs sweet nothings while nuzzling toward a kiss:
= [sabi]shikatta-wa [Enishi]...
- sabishikatta <- past of vblike adj "[sabi]shii" (lonely)
= was-lonely[T] [N]
-- "Enishi, I missed you..."
= datta [anata]-wa itsu-mo...
= was[C] you[T] always/usually...
[see next line]
= [yotei] [tou]ri [ne]tte-[ko]nai kara itsu [a]eru ka [wa]karanai n'da mono
- "nette konai" <- neg. of "nette kuru"? <- completed mission of "[ne]ru" (go to sleep)
[the usual -te form of "neru" is "nete", w/o the doubled consonant...?]
- touri: "like", "similar to", or "as usual"; unlike the usual postpositionsm it modifies a subsequent predicate.
- aeru <- potential of "[a]u" (meet): "can meet"
= schedule like/usually not-coming-to-bed from when can-meet [Q] not-know [fM]is[C] thing
[Loosely remixed w/ previous line]
-- "With your usual schedule... | you don't come back at bedtime, so I wasn't expecting it to be you."
#12#
= [Enishi]?
He isn't buying it yet.
= [Kaoru]... [kota]e 'ro | sakki [naze] ORE-to [Reifan]-wo [machiga]eta!?
- machigaeta <- past of "[machiga]eru" (err)
= [N] answer must-be[C] | just-now why and-me Reifan[T] mistook
-- "Kaoru... do you really expect me to believe that's why you mistook me for Reifan just now!?"
#13#
Kaoru laughs quietly: ~kusu~ (giggle/chuckle)
= [neta] ite'ru no?
- neta: seems to be missing a suffix; "[neta]mu" = "be jealous/envious of", "[neta]mi" = "jealousy/envy"
-- "Are you being jealous?"
Enishi rests his head against her shoulder.
= [touzen] DA | [waru]i ka*
-- "Absolutely. | That's bad, huh?"
[Don't know if the second half is him indirectly agreeing with her that he's being overly jealous, or whether he's questioning her indirect statement of that in the first place.]
#14#
= ...tsumari o[mae]-wa... [Reifan]/(aitsu)-ni [fu]rerareru [azumaya]-ni [nani]-no [teikou] mo [kan]jinai [hodo]
- aitsu: (furigana for "Reifan") the rude "that person" pronoun again
- furerareru <- passive of "[fu]reru" (touch)
- azumaya: not sure that's the right pronunciation vs. "chin" or "tei", but in general, this kanji seems to've started out meaning "pavilion" in the sense of an open gazebo-like structure, and eventually widened to mean "mansion".
= in-summary you[T]... in/to-[N] is-touched in/to-pavilion what's opposition also not-feel as-much
-- "So what you're saying... is that you don't feel very much resistance to being touched by that Reifan guy inside the house."
[or to cancel out the double negatives and passive verb, "...you think it's okay for that Reifan guy to touch you inside my house"?]
= [kokoro]-wo [yuru]shite'ru 'tte KOTO daro?
- yurushite'ru <- pres. prog. of "[yuru]su" (allow)
- "kokoro wo yurusu": lit. "the heart is allowed"; idiom for being overwhelmed by shock/passion?
[Proverb from a Japanese culture quiz: "Shichinin no ko wo nasu tomo onnai ni kokoro wo yurusu na" = "Don’t confide in a woman, not even one who has borne you seven children"]
= heart[O] is-allowing [mM] thing must-be
-- "THAT'S what you're really saying-- isn't it?"
Her:
= ...[Enishi]
Him:
= sou nan DARO!?
-- "Isn't that RIGHT!?"
#15#
Kaoru:
= sou* [kanchiga]i-no II-[tokoro] yo*
- kanchigai: wrong guess/impression
["tokoro" usually means "place", but it can also be used as a suffix that seems to originate in the concept of "in a different place"-- "-dokoro": "apart from", "anything but", "not to mention"?]
= that wrong-impression's anything-but-good [X]
-- "That is a COMPLETELY wrong impression."
= [kare]-wa [atashi]-no [tantou] [i] [ken] BOJIGA--DO! sore [i]-[nanimono] demo nai ne
- kare: although this can simply mean "he" or "him", it can also be used by a girl to refer to her boyfriend/lover.
- "tantou i": "chief doctor"?
[not sure how the "ken" suffix(?) works, though it seems to mean "also/simultaneously"]
- bojigaado: katakana loanword for "bodyguard"?
- i-nanimono: "i" = directional prefix, "toward"; "nanimono" = "what kind of thing/person"
= he[T] my supervision/security doctor and bodyguard! that toward-who-the-heck? but not[C] [rQ]
[Loosely remixed]
-- "Why would I sleep with him? You put him in charge of me as both doctor and bodyguard!"
= sonna-ni [ki]-ni-naru n'dattara...
- "ki ni naru": lit. "become into the spirit", id. "disturb, trouble the mind/heart"
- dattara <- involuntary conditional of plain copula "da"
= in-that-way bother if-might-happen
-- "If you're worried that I might do that..."
[?]:
= [tashi]kamete-miru?
= try/want-to-prove
[Is this Kaoru finishing her previous sentence with "...then at least try to prove that I'm screwing around behind your back" or "then I can try to prove that I'd never do that", or Enishi challenging her again with "Can you prove you're telling the truth?"?]
#16#
Enishi grins: ~ni~
= motto [tanjun]-de [kakuritsu] na [houhou]-de... | [joutou] DA...
= more being-simple/foolish probability [P] from-method... | superior is[C]
[Could this "na" be a brusque negative command? I really want this to work out to something like "Chances are, you'd never be foolish enough to get caught-- there's a much better way to find out" but I can't wrestle the pieces together.]
#17#
Smooching commences, along with heavy breathing.
= ...n | ha*
~haa~
= a* | haa~
#18#
Enishi's hand goes panty-diving (~kuchi~); he laughs softly (~KUSU~) at her response to finger-spelunking (~gu~).
= [nure]reru-no-ga [haya]i NA... [gaman]-shite'tara?
- nurereru-no <- noun from potential of "[nure]ru" (intransitively "become wet/soaked")
[From someone's blog: "gaman is one of those words so close to the core of Japanese culture that it's impossible to translate. Basically it is a virtue. It means, 'show your spirit by enduring without complaint,' or 'do a huge favor for someone, and never tell them how difficult it was for you.' in other words, 'show you've got balls by letting yourself get fucked.' Kind of contradictory, don't you think? I tried and failed to find a better American translation. The closest we come to gaman is, 'shit happens.'"]
- shite'tara <- "shite itara" <- involuntary conditional of "shite iru" <- pres. prog. of "suru" (do): "might be doing"
= self-soakability[S] fast [P]... self-restraint might-be-doing?
-- "You can get wet so fast... aren't you controlling yourself?"
= [chouhatsu]/(sasotsu) shita-no-wa o[mae] DA... [Kaoru]
- "shita no wa": "the reason is"? presumably based on some sense of "shita" (underside, base; tongue) -> "fundamental[T]"?
- chouhatsu: "provoke/taunt"(noun or verb?); furigana "sasotsu"? might be typo for "sasou" (invitation)
= taunt/invitation reason you is[C]... [N]
-- "*You* made me do this... Kaoru."
~fuu~ (sharp, sudden breath)
= [tochuu]-de [kira]gatte mo ya no nee ZO
- "tochuu de": "on the way" or "in the middle"; inside a defined interval/boundary
- kiragatte <- -te form of "kiragaru" <- speculative verb based on "[kira]i" (hateful): "apparently hating"
= in-the-middle apparently-hating also (open-ended)and(?) [P] [rQ] [mM]
-- "It looks like you really hate this sort of thing, don't you? Hm?"
#19#
He pulls off her panties with his teeth. Oh yeah.
Licking: ~PIJA | JU~
+++
Shocklets of pleasure: ~BIKU* | BIKUN~
Her:
= (haa) yaa* | [Enishi]*! | (ha*) (haa)
#20#
The top panel of this page is just jaw-droppingly sek-say, imho-- he has a very *intent* expression with her juices all over his face. Ker-drool. There's also another ~haa~ panting noise next to him, which could either indicate his own interest in the proceedings or it might've echoed down from the other end of her torso.
Him:
= ...[aika]warazu [binkan]-na [shintai] da NA
= as-usual sensitive body is[C] [mM]
-- "Your body is just as sensitive as usual."
More heavy breathing from her: ~HIKU | ha*~ (alternately, the first one might be another shocklet)
Him:
= SORE-wa [hontou]-ni ORE dake-no-[sei]/(mono) ka?
- sei: "fault/blame"; furigana "mono": "thing"
[The "dake no mono" construction would be a close parallel to the first part of "dake no koto wa aru", indicating that the results of an action have met (or didn't meet) reasonable expectations, based on the effort that was expended or the goal that had been set.]
= THAT[T] really I extent's-fault/as-expected [Q]
[Not sure.]
-- "Is THAT all you expected from me?"
He stands back and whips off his belt with a bit of his own heavy breathing: ~haa | kyuru~
#21#
She is distressed, and makes an apparent sound of dismay (~GI~?); I don't know whether she's primarily dismayed that he's moved away or that he's about to come back, but either way she has both of her hands over her girly bits, amidst more heavy breathing (~haa | haa~).
= ya*... [Enishi]! | chotto [ma]*--!!!
-- "Oh-- Enishi! | Wait a mo--!!!"
He drags her up to him with one hand under each of her knees. There is ~ZU | ZU | ZU~ forceful pumping, more ~haa~-type heavy breathing scattered about which I shall ignore henceforth, and her moans start to get their own speech balloons.
= aa*n | a*
#22#
He murmurs her name.
= [Kaoru]...
The thrusting gradually changes from ~ZU~ to more vigorous/juicy motions like ~ZUCHU | GUCHU~.
Her:
= aa... | a* | *...[ita]! | --eni*
- ita: chopped off from "[ita]i" (painful, hurty); about the same as throwing an "Ow!" or "It hurts!" into the moans. Mutter mutter uneasiness about blurring the lines between mid-consensuality token protests and actual rape mutter sigh.
#22#
(?)
= kitsui... yo*
- kitsui: "tight-fitting", but also "harsh" or "intense"
E: "You're so tight"?
K: "It's too much"?
= --[Enishi]*
He bends down and kisses her. Miraculously, contrary to anything I can figure out about the way his pants are canonically constructed, they're still staying up; based on a panel partway down this page, there's an open Western-style front fly... in which case the only reason I can think of for him to've bothered messing with the belt was to increase his flexibility at the waist.
(?)
= n'u...
[Not the single syllable "nu"; this is the (usually) syllable-ending orphaned "n" followed by the separate vowel "u". Probably a grunt?]
Him:
= jaaa... | [te]t[to]ri[baya]ku [o]warasete YARU
- "tettoribayaku" <- adverb from "[te]t[to]ri[baya]i" (quick and easy) <- "[te]t[to]ri" (taking in hand) + "[haya]i" (fast): ~"zippily"
- owarasete <- -te form of "owaseru" <- causative of "[o]waru" (finish/close): "ending"(transitive)
- yaru: brusque verb for "do"; when IY uses the verb "yaru", wot-club tends to add various forms of "fuck" to the translation to emphasize the rudeness, e.g. "What the fuck are you doing?!"
[*headdesk* I have to keep throttling the impulse to shift Enishi into the Spike-like diction from "Edodale". This line isn't helping with that.]
-- "Well, in that case... | I'll finish bloody quick."
~ZUPU~ (wham)
Her:
= hi*!! | aa!!
#23#
He lunges forward with one last pounding heartbeat: ~DOKUN~
= a*!
#24#
Gradually, he sits up on the bed, pulls her into his lap, and licks away some of her lingering teardrops: ~PURO~
= [Kaoru]
Based on the balloon shapes of the next two lines, I think Enishi asks the first one and Kaoru answers with the second one. I could be wrong.
= ...[heiki] ka?
- heiki: composure, indifference
-- "...are you feeling calm now?" (or maybe just "Are you all right?")
= [heiki] ja nai
-- "No, I'm not."
Him:
= ...[ayama]ran' ZO ORE-wa | [gen'in]-wa to-[i]eba o[mae]-no [shitsugen] [waru]i n'dakara NA
- ayamaran' <- clipped from "ayamaranai" <- neg. of "[ayama]ru" (apologize)
- to-ieba <- logical conditional of quotation-marker "to [i]u" <- "[i]u" (say/speak)
- shitsugen: a slip of the tongue, misspoken word(s), verbal blunder
= not-apologize [mM] I[T] | cause/origin[T] if-said your wrong-word bad [fM]that's-why [P]
-- "I'm not going to apologize | because you started it by saying the wrong name."
#25#
= [yosomi] sun' ja nee
- yosomi <- "yoso" (elsewhere) + stem of "[mi]ru" (see/look)
- sun' <- clipped from "suru na" <- brusque neg. command of "suru" (do)
= looking-away don't-do [P] [rQ]
-- "Don't look away, you hear me?"
Return of the white-on-black caption boxes; I've put all of those lines into parentheses around the spoken dialogue.
= ([dare]-mo [mi]ru-NA)
= no-one don't-see!
-- "(Don't look at anyone else)"
= jan' to ORE dake [mi]te'ru
- "jan' to": informal rhetorical question? ("jan'" <- "ja nai ka"?)
- mite'ru <- "mite iru" <- pres. prog. of "[mi]ru" (see/look): "is seeing/looking"
[actually, the tense I keep calling the "present progressive" also includes the future; more strictly, anything that isn't in the past tense is simply in the "nonpast" tense.]
-- [rQ] I only is-looking
-- "I'm the only one you're going to look at."
= ([dare]-ni-mo [hohoe]mu NA...)
-- "(Don't smile at anyone else)"
= o[mae]-wo [ho]shigaru [yatsu]ra-wa [minagoro]shi-ni-shite YARU
- yatsura <- plural of rude pronoun "yatsu"; cf. "Urusei Yatsura"
= you[O] desire those-guys[T] massacring/annihilating do[rude]
-- "If those other guys want you, I'll fucking massacre them."
= (o[mae]-wo [fu]rete II-no-wa... | --kono ORE dake da...)
= you[O] touching okay[T] | this I until is[C]
[Remixed.]
-- "(I'm the only person... | who's allowed to touch you...)"
#26#
She laughs quietly again (~kusu~), eliciting an incredulous handwritten "nani?!" ("What the--?!") from him.
= wagamama!
- wagamama: selfishness, waywardness?
-- "You're so possessive!"
Back to the white-on-black captions; I've bunched all three of them together for remixing.
= (aa... kono [hitomi] da | [atashi]-wa [nando] konna-[fuu]-ni | [shisen] dake de kono-[otoko]-ni [koro]sareta no darou?)
- aa: weak assent
- korosareta <- past of "korosareru" <- passive of "[koro]su" (kill)
= yes... these eyes are[C] | I[T] how-many in-this-manner | sightline only from by-this-man has-been-killed [P] must-be
[Remixathon :b]
-- "(Very well... how many people does he think he has to kill, merely because I looked at them this way?)"
Her:
= demo... | [saikou]-no [koro]shi [monku] da wa
= but... | maximum's murder phrase is[C] [P]
-- "But... | talking about murder is so extreme..."
#27#
= ([kotoba] to-wa [ura] na...)
= words about underside [P]
-- "(But beneath his words...)"
= ([kodomo] mitai-na [dokusen] [yoku])
- "mitai na": turns out this is a nounlike adjective sorta thing, despite being based on the normally verblike "mitai" ("want to look/see").
= child looks-like monopoly desire
-- "(there seems to be a child's selfishness for love)"
= ...ne | motto [da]ite... [Enishi]
- "motto daite" <- "[da]ku" (hold, embrace): "hold me tighter" or "embrace me again"?
= ([kanjou]-wo butsukerareru [tabi] | [tsuno]ru [senritsu] to [ando]-[kan]...)
- butsukerareru <- passive/potential? of "butsukeru" (hit, hurl at): "can hit" or "is hit by"? If the latter, then "wo" marks what I would think of as the subject of the passive verb, though I may have my syntax mixed up there: "feelings are struck by"
- tabi: "time" in the sense of "occurrence", not the abstract passage of time; possible alternate pronunciation of "do" (degree/extent)?
= feelings[O] can-hit occurrence/extent | invite/enlist frightfulness and sense-of-relief
-- "(The extent to which those emotions are struck | summons both fear and reassurance)"
= [tsumi]-ni naratai <[satsujin]>-wo [shi]tte-imasu ka?
= in-crime/sin want-to-become murder[O] is-being-aware [Q]
-- "(Is it a crime to be aware of someone's wish for murder?)"
= demo [kota]e-wa... | [tsumi]-wo [oka]shita-[mono] dake-ga [shi]/(mi)-ru [zaregoto]/(yume)
- okashita <- past of "[oka]su" (perpetrate, commit a crime)
- [shi]ru/(mi)ru: in this kanji/furigana-based doublet, "[shi]ru" is based around an unusual kanji stem for "know/understand"; "miru" is probably just "see".
- zaregoto: "nonsense/silliness"; this pair of kanji might also have the alternate pronunciation/meaning of "gigan" (joke).
= but answer[T] | sin[O] perpetrated-stuff until/only[S] know/(see) joke/nonsense/(dream)
-- "(But the answer to that question... | is that only the actual deed is a crime; awareness is meaningless.)"
[I'm *really* not sure about a lot of these lines; the translation ribosomes in my brain cell may be getting pooped out for now. Still, I'll have to go back to the preface at some point, though I'm not sure how much insight it'll really offer. Also, conflicted semi-happy-dance that my characterization of Enishi matches up with this doujinshi's even though I wasn't sure what was going on here at the time... the thing is, while violent obessive jealousy is commonly reduced to a sign of devotion in popular culture-- how many so-called "love songs" really have the lyrics of stalkers or date-rapists when you really look at the words?-- in real life, it's seriously bad juju.]
As it turns out, rather a lot. Instead of the Six Comrades and Wu Heishin, Enishi has a support staff of other bishounen (a few of them have cameos at the beginning of this story, but there's a much larger cast involved in a complex drama throughout several more doujinshi by this circle). I don't have a good idea who they are, but there's a lengthy preface which might need to be translated as well to give a better idea of what's going on and why.
The general style is significantly different from Yamaguchirow-- instead of Kaoru having voluptuous boobage despite everyone's chibi-esque body proportions, the character designs here are long and lean. Facial expressions are somewhat more limited, and tend toward cool elegance rather than sweaty passions. The sexual content is also much less explicit, both in terms of detail and general presentation. And jeez, there's a lot of (small blurry) kanji in the first few pages-- Lenz uses kanji for a lot of common words which Yamaguchi usually leaves in kana.
Progress: done, I think; or at least dragged more or less all the way to the end with about as much doneness as I'll be likely to ever manage.
Standard (in)accuracy disclaimer: I have no idea what I'm doing, except for juggling a lot of reference books and web lookups. Please do not convert these into English-language scanslations or I will be cross, and there's a good chance they'd be wrong anyway.
Format key--
Frame/balloon order is from right to left and from top to bottom. The kana for "tsu" is sometimes used to indicate a glottal stop, as in a sudden gasp or an abrupt break in speech; in those cases, I'll transcribe it as "*" instead.
= raw romaji: [kanji], hiragana, KATAKANA, words-linked-inna-phrase, (handwritten marginalia), ~sound fx~
(Every so often, I splat down a comparison from wot-club's IY translations, which indicate kanji with CAPS instead of [brackets].)
- expanded transcription: grammatical contractions unpacked from the raw transcription if necessary (e.g., "inna" <- "in a") or other analysis
= raw gloss: [word function]*, literal-translation
*functional abbreviations: [T]opic, emphatic [S]ubject, [O]bject, unidentified [P]article, [C]opula, [Q]uestion, [N]ame; [aX] (animate existence), [iX] (inanimate existence), ["] (quotation), [+] (honorific), [rQ] (rhetorical question), [mM] (emotional emphasis), [fM] (factual emphasis)
Narrative descriptions
[random notes]
-- "occasional coherent(ish) translations"
Pagination: #N#
Framebreaks: +++ (sometimes I leave these out if nothing much happens in each frame)
Balloonbreaks: | (if I compress several short balloons into the same line of text; otherwise, I just start a new line for each balloon. Usually. On the other hand, sometimes I use these to break up individual lines in a single longish balloon.)
While the front cover of the doujinshi has the title Poison, the main story has the different title "Sell My Soul". Based on captioned portraits in the back, Enishi's hench-bishounen are named "Reifan" and "Suou"; since I don't think those names quite match up with the Japanese pronunciations for the kanji they're written with, they're probably meant to be Chinese, which would make sense if they're part of Enishi's organization from Shanghai.
The cover is *gorgeous*: a full-color glossy wraparound of Enishi and Kaoru loosely entwined, lying in a pool of violet mist. Both of them are directly staring out toward the viewer; Enishi has a feral, challenging expression and I can't quite articulate the emotions on Kaoru's face, which looks... I dunno, resigned? guilty? fatalistic? but she's not struggling and is reciprocating his embrace. On the back cover, there's also a strange gizmo clamped onto her bare thigh: a black band with an unsheathed dagger clipped to the outside by its hilt. There's a chain attached to the gizmo which loosely runs up to below the hem of her robe; perhaps it fastens to her waist?
No apparent printed pagination; first fully-illustrated page assigned as #1.
#1#
Portrait of Kaoru standing in a long, narrow slip-like dress similar to the one slightly visible below her robe on the front cover. Her eyes are closed and she's loosely holding the back cover's dagger close to her chest, point down. There's no sign of the thigh-gizmo; the slip runs down to below her knees.
Captions are printed in white on black backgrounds, which usually indicate inner thoughts.
= [tsumi]-ni naranai <[satsujin]>-wo [shi]tte-imasu ka?
["satsujin" is emphasized with square corner brackets]
- tsumi: crime/sin; the entire phrase "tsumi ni naranai" (lit. "doesn't become into a crime") appears in a Futaba-kun fan translation as "it's no crime"
- "shitte imasu" <- formal for "shitte iru" <- pres. prog of "[shi]ru" (objectively know/learn): "already knows" or "is currently aware of"?
= not-a-crime murder[O] is-aware [Q]
-- "Being aware of *murder* isn't a crime in itself, is it?"
= demo, sono [kota]e-wa...
= but, that answer/solution[T]
[Based on a fantrans of the Ranma endsong "Let's Be Platonic", the meaning of "sono kotae wa" may be closer to "the answer to that question" than the simple phrase "that answer".]
-- "But, the answer..."
#2#
Black on white captions, still in front of Kaoru holding the dagger:
= [dare]-ni-mo [rikai]/(waka)-ranakute ii
[The kanji for "rikai" (understanding/comprehension) are given the furigana "waka" (stem of "[waka]ru" (subjectively know/understand); there are several of these furigana doublets throughout. These two aren't grammatically parallel since "rikai" is a noun, though it can be used as a verb in the phrase "rikai suru"; however, the suffix "-ranakute" isn't a possible form of "suru", so really this boils down to "[waka]ranakute" with a substitute kanji.]
- "dare ni mo": semi-lit'ly "and in/to who" or "to who else"; idiomatically "nobody"
- wakaranakute <- -te form of "wakaranai" <- neg. of "[waka]ru": "not understanding"
[The whole phrase "dare ni mo wakaranai" pops up several idiomatic translations: "Nobody knows the truth" or "Can you keep a secret", though I can't pull up enough examples to figure out how much of those are supplied by other contexts.]
= nobody is-not-knowing well
[Adding stuff to connect these lines to the previous ones]
-- "...is something that nobody really understands..."
= [dare]-kara-mo [oshi]eraretakunai
- "dare kara mo": this paper about the interrogative uses of the particles "mo" and "ka" glosses the sentence "Kugyo-ga dare-kara-mo kuru-to komaru" [kugyo: complaint (noun); komaru: hate (verb)] as "I hate it if everyone complains", in contrast to "Kugyo-ga dare-kare kite-mo komaru" and "Kugyo-ga dare-ka-kara kuru-to komaru" (both "I hate it if someone complains" and "Kugyo-da kare-kara kuru-to komaru" ("I hate it if he complains")-- the distinction is apparently that in this context, "mo" is a "universal" marker whereas "ka" is an "existential" one?
- "oshieraretakunai" <- neg. of "oshieraretai" <- desid. of "oshierareru" <- passive or potential of "[oshi]eru" (teach/inform): "doesn't want to be told" or "doesn't want to be able to tell"?
= everyone doesn't-want-to-be-told
-- "...and nobody wants to to learn."
These next lines are in hazily outlined balloons, around an image of Enishi. He seems to've just returned from somewhere and has just taken off his jacket. He has about three earrings in his left ear, although none of them is the usual yin-yang disc that he wears in canon and on the front cover. (In the first few images Watsuki used to introduce the Yukishiro sibs, Tomoe wore the same disc design as an obi clasp in Kenshin's memory of her, although this didn't appear in the actual extended flashbacks-- I wonder if there was some further background concept about that which Watsuki abandoned.)
= [anata]-ga... | [anata] sae sono [imi]/(kotae)-wo [obo]ete-ite kureru nara...
[It's pretty rare to see "anata" written in kanji-- sometimes this second-person pronoun is used in relatively distant, formal situations, but sometimes it's also used by a wife addressing her husband. These particular kanji have the alternate pronunciation "kihou", an even more intimate wife-to-husband address.]
- "imi": meaning/intention; "kotae": answer/reply
- "oboete ite" <- -te form of pres. prog of "[obo]eru" (remember/memorize): "is still remembering/memorizing"
- [-te] kureru: do something for me
- nara: equivalent to the -ba "logical consquence" conditional form of the regular copula "da"
= you[S] | you at-least that intention/answer[O] still-remembers-for-me if-so...
-- "But you... | if at least you remember this answer for me..."
Unseen speaker:
= BOSU
[yargh-- I initially misread "busu" for "bosu" (katakana loanword for "boss"), so the following comment should probably be ignored... except that otherwise, I don't know how the title "Poison" relates to the story after all :b ]
- busu: usually, an extreme insult used to call women "deeply hideous" or "fugly"; Yahiko is fond of applying it to Kaoru in this sense. The insult may or may not be linked to a more archaic meaning for the word: "poison", which is presumably what is meant here instead and provides the context for the main title on the cover.
-- "Master."
#3#
Bishounen #1 welcomes Enishi home. He has shoulder-length dark hair and a dark-bodied jacket/vest.
= o[kae]ri nasaimase...
- nasaimase <- formal imperative of "nasaru", already an honorific verb for "do"
[An extremely formal version of "welcome home".]
-- "I welcome your return to this house."
Caption:
= [Kou] [Reifan]: [Enishi]-no [buka]
- Kou(?): I'm not sure if a definite pronunciation is given for his family name, but "kou" is my first randomish guess. This kanji is commonly pronounced "kurenai" and means a particular shade of scarlet or deep pink which was once limited to high-ranking women of the Japanese Imperial family, especially during the Heian era. That color is coincidentally rather close to the vivid fuchsia of Kenshin's gi in the anime, although for various reasons it would've been very unlikely that the original plant-based "kurenai" dye would've been what he was actually wearing, though it could've come from other sources like imported aniline-dye mauve.
- Rei: an unusual kanji for "black".
- Fan: not a normal Japanese pronunciation for this character at all; it's probably based on the Mandarin "feng". It means "male phoenix", and is the same kanji used for the name of the "Ohtori" Academy in Utena.
-- "Kou Reifan: Enishi's subordinate"
More caption:
= ([soshiki]-no [saikou] [kanbu] [kyuu]-no [chuushin] [jinbutsu])
= organization's greatest executive/staff grade/class's center figure
-- "(a central figure in the organization's highest executive level)"
Reifan:
= o-[tsuto]me go-[kurou]-[sama] deshita
- kurou: difficulties
[The entire phrase "go-kurou-sama" is a formal phrase of thanks to someone for their hard work, usually given to subordinates although the addition of the formal past-tense copula "deshita" amps up the politeness even more, making it suitable for praising superiors.]
= [+]-duty [+]-labor-[+] was[C]
-- "Your diligent leadership always inspires us."
Enishi is unwinding the long scarflike thing from around his shoulders-- as a family fashion accessory, it's vaguely similar to Tomoe's shawl-thing but is longer, narrower, and a different color. I tend to associate Enishi's scarf with Tomoe's obi, since IIRC they're the same color and probably similar dimensions.
= ...[maikai] [katakuru]shii [seji]/(aisatsu)-wa yose [Reifan] [yokei] [tsuka]reru...
- yose <-? yoseru ("approach" or "allow nearby")
[From a fan discussion of the Japanese version of the LOTR movies: Denethor's line "Do you trouble me with Faramir...I know his uses, and they are few" was subtitled as "Yatsu no hanasi wa yose. Yakutatazu da" whose direct translation is given as "Stop talking of that scum. Useless."]
[Aha-- I think this is a completely different "yose" adapted from a term from the game of Go, in which "yose" is an exchange of territory near stable boundaries; since a lot of small "yose" moves tend to happen toward the end of a game, the meaning is often generalized to "endgame" or "final phase"... and can also be popped back up to a different verb "yoseru" which means to make the "yose" moves or to end the game... so the "hanashi wa yose" idiom works out to the imperative "make an endgame of the conversation!", or much more brusquely, "shut your yap".]
[...or actually, it comes from the same root after all; the gameplay term is named for the borders *approaching* each other. Dang, this is way cool.]
= every-time stiffly-formal compliment/greeting[T] finish! [N]-- excess get-tired
-- "You're as formal as ever, Reifan-- knock off the compliments, I'm too tired..."
[Don't know whether Enishi is specifically tired of courtesy overload, or just too tired in general.]
= --aitsu-wa doushite'RU?
[(originally wrote this note for the previous line, when I was wondering if "se" might've been a typo for "ze") Enishi has *very* brusque diction, ending a lot of sentences with "ze"/"zo" etc.; he refers to himself as "ore" (oddly, considering the general trend of the rest of this doujinshi, "ore" is usually written out in katakana instead of with kanji) and addresses Kaoru with the not terribly respectful "omae".]
- aitsu: a rude word for "that person"
- doushite: "how/why"; "doushite iru" --> ~"how are things", "how are you doing", "what's up?"
-- "--So what's going on with THAT person?"
#4#
Bishounen #2 has shorter dark hair and a light jacket/vest; he's also holding Enishi's scarflike thing now.
= [Kaoru]-san desu ka? BOSU-ga [yotei] yori [haya]ku [kae]tte-[ku]ru to-[shi]tte [taisou] [gai](???) n'de 'rasshaimashita yo...
["gai", if that's what that kanji is, is an indistinct blob of ink with only a few distinguishing shapes for me to guess from. @#*(@*#@. There are several kanji in here like that. We hates them. Ssss.]
- "to shitte" <- -te form of "to shiru" (shiru: intellectually know/learn); similar to the quotation phrases based on "to iu" (iu: say)
- rasshaimashita <-? chopped off from "irasshaimashita" <- past tense of "irasshaimasu" <- formal of "irassharu", a formal verb for "come/go/exist": "very honorably came/went/existed"? (cf. "irasshaimase", the formal imperative used by shopkeepers or waitstaff to welcome customers)-- otoh, there's another claim that sometimes "-rasshaimasu" is tacked onto verbs as an independent suffix to show respect, though I suspect that usage is a mutation of the usual "-te iru" present-progressive since the example given for the "suffix" usage follows the -te form of the verb being modified.
- "n'de rasshaimashita" <-<-? "no de irassharu" <- vy. formal equiv. of "no de iru": "being in the state/condition of" w/ factual emphasis?
= [N][+] is[C] [Q]? master[T] plan/expectation than/from quickly coming-home knowing-that extreme(ly) malice/injury(???) [fM]was-being[C][++] [X]
[Second sentence -> chunks: "knowing about Master coming home earlier than expected" "extreme anger/hurt" "was certainly being"-- what function does "taisou gai" have? The closest template I can find in Naoko Chino's book of sentence patterns is "[noun]-ga [verb]-te arimasu": "[noun] is already in the state of [verbing]", or more simply, "[noun] has been [verbed]" ]
-- "Do you mean Kaoru-san? Master, it's dangerous for her to know that you came home earlier than expected."(?????)
[I probably have the wrong identification for the supposed "gai" kanji, but I really can't figure out what else it might be.]
Caption:
= ([Ri] [Suou]: [soshiki]-no No.4)
- Ri: again, not sure of the intended pronunciation; the kanji means "plum" in the concrete sense of the tree/fruit/flowers, not the more abstract color. I think.
- Suou: the first kanji means "revive/rehabilitate"; the second one means "perfume/fragrance".
- soshiki: organization; "No.4" is in romaji.
-- "(Ri Suou: #4 in the hierarchy)"
[A slightly ominous touch; there's a taboo on the number four in several Asian cultures because it can be a homonym for the words "death" or "die".]
Back to Reifan again; he chuckles: ~kusu~
= ...tada [imadoki] [fun] mou [oso]i node [shinshitsu]-de [yasu]mareta [yousu] desu ga
[feh-- for a while, I was muddling about because of having incorrectly identified the "yasu" kanji as "karada" (body), which has a cross-stroke near the base that "yasu" doesn't have.]
- yasumareta <- past of "yasumeru" <- potential of "[yasu]mu" (rest, discontinue): "could sleep"
- ga: can connect two clauses/sentences, usually contrasting them w/ each other; at the end of the sentence, adds a trailing implication of "yes, but..."
= only recently amount already tardy because from/in-bedroom could-sleep appearance is[C] but
-- "...A little while ago, it looked like she was able to fall asleep in the bedroom because it was already late, but..."
Enishi:
= sou KA... ORE mo mou [yasu]mu [torihi]ki-no [shousai]-wa [Suou]-ni [ki]KE
- kike <- brusque imp. of "[ki]ku" (hear/listen/ask)
= that [Q] I too already rest business-transactions' details[T] in/to-[N] listen!
-- "Is that right...? Well, I'm going to sleep now too. Suou, take care of the business details."
Suou:
= hai
-- "Yes, sir."
Enishi has now taken off his own jacket and is down to his long trousers and sleeveless shirt. (Woohoo! Yeah, baby, take it all off!) The jacket rustles (~BASA~) as he slings it over his shoulder.
= sore-kara ORE-ga [o]kiru-made [dare]-mo [buzoku]-ni [chikazu]kisaseru NA
- "chikazukisaseru na" <- neg. imperative <- "sa"-insertion into "chikazukaseru" <- causative of "[chikazu]ku" (approach): "don't cause to approach", "don't bring nearer"
= from-that I[S] until-awaken nobody in/to-section don't-approach
-- "Don't let anyone go near that part of the house until I wake up."
#5#
Reifan:
= --[gyoi]...
= will/pleasure (part of a stock phrase of obedience)
-- "--as you wish" or "--at your command, sir" etc.
Enishi heads off to wash up. Sadly, this process is not shown. When he's done, he returns to his room (I think?); the door clicks as he opens it: ~KACHA~
#6#
He has a towel loosely draped around his shoulders, over (hopefully) a fresh set of clothing (they look like the same dark sleeveless shirt and side-striped long trousers). Kaoru does look asleep, but she's curled up on some cushions on a Western-style sofa, not in bed. Oddly, *she* is wearing his usual yin/yang-disc earring.
This may actually take place outside in a garden or something; an outdoor sky was shown on the previous page, and there are plants directly beside the sofa in the next one.
= [Kaoru]? | [o]kite-iru no ka?
-- "Kaoru? | Are you waking up now?"
#7#
He leans down and runs one hand over her hair: ~SARA*~ (a smooth, dry, sliding sound)
= konna [basho]/(TOKORO)-de [ne]te'ru to... | [kaze]-wo-[hi]ku ZO
= this-way from-room/(place) is-sleeping and | catch-a-cold [X]
-- "If you keep sleeping outside like this... | you'll catch a cold."
[Alternately, the "outside" bit might just be "out of bed".]
#8#
He scoops her up in his arms and starts to carry her to bed. She's still groggy:
= ...n | [Reifan]?
Enishi twitches angrily (~PIKU~) as she continues speaking:
= ii yo [jibun]-de [aru]keru
- aruku <- potential of "aruku" (walk)
-- "It's okay, I can walk by myself."
#9#
Unceremoniously, Enishi drops her:
= ...OI | [dare]-ga [Reifan] da 'tte!?
-- "...HEY | Just who are you calling 'Reifan'!?"
Kaoru: ~DOSA*~ ("thud")
= kya
-- "Yeek!"
Caption:
= [otona] [ki] nee shishi ([wara])
[This is the second time recently that I've seen what looks like the hiragana for "shishi" in a margin comment... I'm tipping away from my initial interpretation as two sweatdrops toward an actual sound effect, though I can't find a listing in my guides: a sardonic snicker through grinning teeth?]
= adult spirit [rQ] [snicker] (smile)
-- "(He's acting so mature-- heh.)"
#10#
Enishi:
= [Kaoru] [kota]e
- kotae: answer/solution
-- "Kaoru-- answer me."
At least she seems to've landed on something soft-- a larger surface than the sofa, so she must not've made her slip of the tongue until they were back to the actual bed. She has a slight blush and a wide, blank smile that made the wombat-consort ask what drugs she was on.
= o-[ne]ri-nasai | [Enishi]!
[From "[ne]ru", sleep; parallel construction to the stock "Welcome home" phrase "o-[kae]ri-nasai" (from "[kae]ru", return)]
-- "Welcome back to bed-- | Enishi!"
She sits up and glomps him (~gyu~), which doesn't stop him from thinking to himself:
= ... [ko]re-wa hagurakasareta-no ka?
[Or separate phrases: "hagura ka sareta no ka"? possible root verbs: "hagu" (peel) -> pot. "hageru"; "haguru" (stray) -> caus. "haguraseru"? Not "hagukumu" (raise, bring up).]
- hagura <- ?
- sareta <- past of "sareru"? <- potential of "saru" (go away) or passive of "suru" (do): "could leave" or "was done"?
[The verb "hagurakashite" appears in several webpages, so it could be one long verb after all: the song lyric "hagurakashite bakari hontou no in your heart" is translated as "You're only evading what's in your heart; similarly, "Ano hi kimi no yume wo hagurakashite gomen" = "Sorry that I avoid your dream that day"... "haguraka-suru" = "avoid/escape"? I'd feel happier if I could find anything solid for "haguraka" by itself.]
- hagurakasareta <- past of "haguraka-sareru" <- passive of "haguraka-suru" (avoid): "was avoided"
= this[T] past-avoidance [Q]
-- "She didn't answer my question, did she?"
#11#
She murmurs sweet nothings while nuzzling toward a kiss:
= [sabi]shikatta-wa [Enishi]...
- sabishikatta <- past of vblike adj "[sabi]shii" (lonely)
= was-lonely[T] [N]
-- "Enishi, I missed you..."
= datta [anata]-wa itsu-mo...
= was[C] you[T] always/usually...
[see next line]
= [yotei] [tou]ri [ne]tte-[ko]nai kara itsu [a]eru ka [wa]karanai n'da mono
- "nette konai" <- neg. of "nette kuru"? <- completed mission of "[ne]ru" (go to sleep)
[the usual -te form of "neru" is "nete", w/o the doubled consonant...?]
- touri: "like", "similar to", or "as usual"; unlike the usual postpositionsm it modifies a subsequent predicate.
- aeru <- potential of "[a]u" (meet): "can meet"
= schedule like/usually not-coming-to-bed from when can-meet [Q] not-know [fM]is[C] thing
[Loosely remixed w/ previous line]
-- "With your usual schedule... | you don't come back at bedtime, so I wasn't expecting it to be you."
#12#
= [Enishi]?
He isn't buying it yet.
= [Kaoru]... [kota]e 'ro | sakki [naze] ORE-to [Reifan]-wo [machiga]eta!?
- machigaeta <- past of "[machiga]eru" (err)
= [N] answer must-be[C] | just-now why and-me Reifan[T] mistook
-- "Kaoru... do you really expect me to believe that's why you mistook me for Reifan just now!?"
#13#
Kaoru laughs quietly: ~kusu~ (giggle/chuckle)
= [neta] ite'ru no?
- neta: seems to be missing a suffix; "[neta]mu" = "be jealous/envious of", "[neta]mi" = "jealousy/envy"
-- "Are you being jealous?"
Enishi rests his head against her shoulder.
= [touzen] DA | [waru]i ka*
-- "Absolutely. | That's bad, huh?"
[Don't know if the second half is him indirectly agreeing with her that he's being overly jealous, or whether he's questioning her indirect statement of that in the first place.]
#14#
= ...tsumari o[mae]-wa... [Reifan]/(aitsu)-ni [fu]rerareru [azumaya]-ni [nani]-no [teikou] mo [kan]jinai [hodo]
- aitsu: (furigana for "Reifan") the rude "that person" pronoun again
- furerareru <- passive of "[fu]reru" (touch)
- azumaya: not sure that's the right pronunciation vs. "chin" or "tei", but in general, this kanji seems to've started out meaning "pavilion" in the sense of an open gazebo-like structure, and eventually widened to mean "mansion".
= in-summary you[T]... in/to-[N] is-touched in/to-pavilion what's opposition also not-feel as-much
-- "So what you're saying... is that you don't feel very much resistance to being touched by that Reifan guy inside the house."
[or to cancel out the double negatives and passive verb, "...you think it's okay for that Reifan guy to touch you inside my house"?]
= [kokoro]-wo [yuru]shite'ru 'tte KOTO daro?
- yurushite'ru <- pres. prog. of "[yuru]su" (allow)
- "kokoro wo yurusu": lit. "the heart is allowed"; idiom for being overwhelmed by shock/passion?
[Proverb from a Japanese culture quiz: "Shichinin no ko wo nasu tomo onnai ni kokoro wo yurusu na" = "Don’t confide in a woman, not even one who has borne you seven children"]
= heart[O] is-allowing [mM] thing must-be
-- "THAT'S what you're really saying-- isn't it?"
Her:
= ...[Enishi]
Him:
= sou nan DARO!?
-- "Isn't that RIGHT!?"
#15#
Kaoru:
= sou* [kanchiga]i-no II-[tokoro] yo*
- kanchigai: wrong guess/impression
["tokoro" usually means "place", but it can also be used as a suffix that seems to originate in the concept of "in a different place"-- "-dokoro": "apart from", "anything but", "not to mention"?]
= that wrong-impression's anything-but-good [X]
-- "That is a COMPLETELY wrong impression."
= [kare]-wa [atashi]-no [tantou] [i] [ken] BOJIGA--DO! sore [i]-[nanimono] demo nai ne
- kare: although this can simply mean "he" or "him", it can also be used by a girl to refer to her boyfriend/lover.
- "tantou i": "chief doctor"?
[not sure how the "ken" suffix(?) works, though it seems to mean "also/simultaneously"]
- bojigaado: katakana loanword for "bodyguard"?
- i-nanimono: "i" = directional prefix, "toward"; "nanimono" = "what kind of thing/person"
= he[T] my supervision/security doctor and bodyguard! that toward-who-the-heck? but not[C] [rQ]
[Loosely remixed]
-- "Why would I sleep with him? You put him in charge of me as both doctor and bodyguard!"
= sonna-ni [ki]-ni-naru n'dattara...
- "ki ni naru": lit. "become into the spirit", id. "disturb, trouble the mind/heart"
- dattara <- involuntary conditional of plain copula "da"
= in-that-way bother if-might-happen
-- "If you're worried that I might do that..."
[?]:
= [tashi]kamete-miru?
= try/want-to-prove
[Is this Kaoru finishing her previous sentence with "...then at least try to prove that I'm screwing around behind your back" or "then I can try to prove that I'd never do that", or Enishi challenging her again with "Can you prove you're telling the truth?"?]
#16#
Enishi grins: ~ni~
= motto [tanjun]-de [kakuritsu] na [houhou]-de... | [joutou] DA...
= more being-simple/foolish probability [P] from-method... | superior is[C]
[Could this "na" be a brusque negative command? I really want this to work out to something like "Chances are, you'd never be foolish enough to get caught-- there's a much better way to find out" but I can't wrestle the pieces together.]
#17#
Smooching commences, along with heavy breathing.
= ...n | ha*
~haa~
= a* | haa~
#18#
Enishi's hand goes panty-diving (~kuchi~); he laughs softly (~KUSU~) at her response to finger-spelunking (~gu~).
= [nure]reru-no-ga [haya]i NA... [gaman]-shite'tara?
- nurereru-no <- noun from potential of "[nure]ru" (intransitively "become wet/soaked")
[From someone's blog: "gaman is one of those words so close to the core of Japanese culture that it's impossible to translate. Basically it is a virtue. It means, 'show your spirit by enduring without complaint,' or 'do a huge favor for someone, and never tell them how difficult it was for you.' in other words, 'show you've got balls by letting yourself get fucked.' Kind of contradictory, don't you think? I tried and failed to find a better American translation. The closest we come to gaman is, 'shit happens.'"]
- shite'tara <- "shite itara" <- involuntary conditional of "shite iru" <- pres. prog. of "suru" (do): "might be doing"
= self-soakability[S] fast [P]... self-restraint might-be-doing?
-- "You can get wet so fast... aren't you controlling yourself?"
= [chouhatsu]/(sasotsu) shita-no-wa o[mae] DA... [Kaoru]
- "shita no wa": "the reason is"? presumably based on some sense of "shita" (underside, base; tongue) -> "fundamental[T]"?
- chouhatsu: "provoke/taunt"(noun or verb?); furigana "sasotsu"? might be typo for "sasou" (invitation)
= taunt/invitation reason you is[C]... [N]
-- "*You* made me do this... Kaoru."
~fuu~ (sharp, sudden breath)
= [tochuu]-de [kira]gatte mo ya no nee ZO
- "tochuu de": "on the way" or "in the middle"; inside a defined interval/boundary
- kiragatte <- -te form of "kiragaru" <- speculative verb based on "[kira]i" (hateful): "apparently hating"
= in-the-middle apparently-hating also (open-ended)and(?) [P] [rQ] [mM]
-- "It looks like you really hate this sort of thing, don't you? Hm?"
#19#
He pulls off her panties with his teeth. Oh yeah.
Licking: ~PIJA | JU~
+++
Shocklets of pleasure: ~BIKU* | BIKUN~
Her:
= (haa) yaa* | [Enishi]*! | (ha*) (haa)
#20#
The top panel of this page is just jaw-droppingly sek-say, imho-- he has a very *intent* expression with her juices all over his face. Ker-drool. There's also another ~haa~ panting noise next to him, which could either indicate his own interest in the proceedings or it might've echoed down from the other end of her torso.
Him:
= ...[aika]warazu [binkan]-na [shintai] da NA
= as-usual sensitive body is[C] [mM]
-- "Your body is just as sensitive as usual."
More heavy breathing from her: ~HIKU | ha*~ (alternately, the first one might be another shocklet)
Him:
= SORE-wa [hontou]-ni ORE dake-no-[sei]/(mono) ka?
- sei: "fault/blame"; furigana "mono": "thing"
[The "dake no mono" construction would be a close parallel to the first part of "dake no koto wa aru", indicating that the results of an action have met (or didn't meet) reasonable expectations, based on the effort that was expended or the goal that had been set.]
= THAT[T] really I extent's-fault/as-expected [Q]
[Not sure.]
-- "Is THAT all you expected from me?"
He stands back and whips off his belt with a bit of his own heavy breathing: ~haa | kyuru~
#21#
She is distressed, and makes an apparent sound of dismay (~GI~?); I don't know whether she's primarily dismayed that he's moved away or that he's about to come back, but either way she has both of her hands over her girly bits, amidst more heavy breathing (~haa | haa~).
= ya*... [Enishi]! | chotto [ma]*--!!!
-- "Oh-- Enishi! | Wait a mo--!!!"
He drags her up to him with one hand under each of her knees. There is ~ZU | ZU | ZU~ forceful pumping, more ~haa~-type heavy breathing scattered about which I shall ignore henceforth, and her moans start to get their own speech balloons.
= aa*n | a*
#22#
He murmurs her name.
= [Kaoru]...
The thrusting gradually changes from ~ZU~ to more vigorous/juicy motions like ~ZUCHU | GUCHU~.
Her:
= aa... | a* | *...[ita]! | --eni*
- ita: chopped off from "[ita]i" (painful, hurty); about the same as throwing an "Ow!" or "It hurts!" into the moans. Mutter mutter uneasiness about blurring the lines between mid-consensuality token protests and actual rape mutter sigh.
#22#
(?)
= kitsui... yo*
- kitsui: "tight-fitting", but also "harsh" or "intense"
E: "You're so tight"?
K: "It's too much"?
= --[Enishi]*
He bends down and kisses her. Miraculously, contrary to anything I can figure out about the way his pants are canonically constructed, they're still staying up; based on a panel partway down this page, there's an open Western-style front fly... in which case the only reason I can think of for him to've bothered messing with the belt was to increase his flexibility at the waist.
(?)
= n'u...
[Not the single syllable "nu"; this is the (usually) syllable-ending orphaned "n" followed by the separate vowel "u". Probably a grunt?]
Him:
= jaaa... | [te]t[to]ri[baya]ku [o]warasete YARU
- "tettoribayaku" <- adverb from "[te]t[to]ri[baya]i" (quick and easy) <- "[te]t[to]ri" (taking in hand) + "[haya]i" (fast): ~"zippily"
- owarasete <- -te form of "owaseru" <- causative of "[o]waru" (finish/close): "ending"(transitive)
- yaru: brusque verb for "do"; when IY uses the verb "yaru", wot-club tends to add various forms of "fuck" to the translation to emphasize the rudeness, e.g. "What the fuck are you doing?!"
[*headdesk* I have to keep throttling the impulse to shift Enishi into the Spike-like diction from "Edodale". This line isn't helping with that.]
-- "Well, in that case... | I'll finish bloody quick."
~ZUPU~ (wham)
Her:
= hi*!! | aa!!
#23#
He lunges forward with one last pounding heartbeat: ~DOKUN~
= a*!
#24#
Gradually, he sits up on the bed, pulls her into his lap, and licks away some of her lingering teardrops: ~PURO~
= [Kaoru]
Based on the balloon shapes of the next two lines, I think Enishi asks the first one and Kaoru answers with the second one. I could be wrong.
= ...[heiki] ka?
- heiki: composure, indifference
-- "...are you feeling calm now?" (or maybe just "Are you all right?")
= [heiki] ja nai
-- "No, I'm not."
Him:
= ...[ayama]ran' ZO ORE-wa | [gen'in]-wa to-[i]eba o[mae]-no [shitsugen] [waru]i n'dakara NA
- ayamaran' <- clipped from "ayamaranai" <- neg. of "[ayama]ru" (apologize)
- to-ieba <- logical conditional of quotation-marker "to [i]u" <- "[i]u" (say/speak)
- shitsugen: a slip of the tongue, misspoken word(s), verbal blunder
= not-apologize [mM] I[T] | cause/origin[T] if-said your wrong-word bad [fM]that's-why [P]
-- "I'm not going to apologize | because you started it by saying the wrong name."
#25#
= [yosomi] sun' ja nee
- yosomi <- "yoso" (elsewhere) + stem of "[mi]ru" (see/look)
- sun' <- clipped from "suru na" <- brusque neg. command of "suru" (do)
= looking-away don't-do [P] [rQ]
-- "Don't look away, you hear me?"
Return of the white-on-black caption boxes; I've put all of those lines into parentheses around the spoken dialogue.
= ([dare]-mo [mi]ru-NA)
= no-one don't-see!
-- "(Don't look at anyone else)"
= jan' to ORE dake [mi]te'ru
- "jan' to": informal rhetorical question? ("jan'" <- "ja nai ka"?)
- mite'ru <- "mite iru" <- pres. prog. of "[mi]ru" (see/look): "is seeing/looking"
[actually, the tense I keep calling the "present progressive" also includes the future; more strictly, anything that isn't in the past tense is simply in the "nonpast" tense.]
-- [rQ] I only is-looking
-- "I'm the only one you're going to look at."
= ([dare]-ni-mo [hohoe]mu NA...)
-- "(Don't smile at anyone else)"
= o[mae]-wo [ho]shigaru [yatsu]ra-wa [minagoro]shi-ni-shite YARU
- yatsura <- plural of rude pronoun "yatsu"; cf. "Urusei Yatsura"
= you[O] desire those-guys[T] massacring/annihilating do[rude]
-- "If those other guys want you, I'll fucking massacre them."
= (o[mae]-wo [fu]rete II-no-wa... | --kono ORE dake da...)
= you[O] touching okay[T] | this I until is[C]
[Remixed.]
-- "(I'm the only person... | who's allowed to touch you...)"
#26#
She laughs quietly again (~kusu~), eliciting an incredulous handwritten "nani?!" ("What the--?!") from him.
= wagamama!
- wagamama: selfishness, waywardness?
-- "You're so possessive!"
Back to the white-on-black captions; I've bunched all three of them together for remixing.
= (aa... kono [hitomi] da | [atashi]-wa [nando] konna-[fuu]-ni | [shisen] dake de kono-[otoko]-ni [koro]sareta no darou?)
- aa: weak assent
- korosareta <- past of "korosareru" <- passive of "[koro]su" (kill)
= yes... these eyes are[C] | I[T] how-many in-this-manner | sightline only from by-this-man has-been-killed [P] must-be
[Remixathon :b]
-- "(Very well... how many people does he think he has to kill, merely because I looked at them this way?)"
Her:
= demo... | [saikou]-no [koro]shi [monku] da wa
= but... | maximum's murder phrase is[C] [P]
-- "But... | talking about murder is so extreme..."
#27#
= ([kotoba] to-wa [ura] na...)
= words about underside [P]
-- "(But beneath his words...)"
= ([kodomo] mitai-na [dokusen] [yoku])
- "mitai na": turns out this is a nounlike adjective sorta thing, despite being based on the normally verblike "mitai" ("want to look/see").
= child looks-like monopoly desire
-- "(there seems to be a child's selfishness for love)"
= ...ne | motto [da]ite... [Enishi]
- "motto daite" <- "[da]ku" (hold, embrace): "hold me tighter" or "embrace me again"?
= ([kanjou]-wo butsukerareru [tabi] | [tsuno]ru [senritsu] to [ando]-[kan]...)
- butsukerareru <- passive/potential? of "butsukeru" (hit, hurl at): "can hit" or "is hit by"? If the latter, then "wo" marks what I would think of as the subject of the passive verb, though I may have my syntax mixed up there: "feelings are struck by"
- tabi: "time" in the sense of "occurrence", not the abstract passage of time; possible alternate pronunciation of "do" (degree/extent)?
= feelings[O] can-hit occurrence/extent | invite/enlist frightfulness and sense-of-relief
-- "(The extent to which those emotions are struck | summons both fear and reassurance)"
= [tsumi]-ni naratai <[satsujin]>-wo [shi]tte-imasu ka?
= in-crime/sin want-to-become murder[O] is-being-aware [Q]
-- "(Is it a crime to be aware of someone's wish for murder?)"
= demo [kota]e-wa... | [tsumi]-wo [oka]shita-[mono] dake-ga [shi]/(mi)-ru [zaregoto]/(yume)
- okashita <- past of "[oka]su" (perpetrate, commit a crime)
- [shi]ru/(mi)ru: in this kanji/furigana-based doublet, "[shi]ru" is based around an unusual kanji stem for "know/understand"; "miru" is probably just "see".
- zaregoto: "nonsense/silliness"; this pair of kanji might also have the alternate pronunciation/meaning of "gigan" (joke).
= but answer[T] | sin[O] perpetrated-stuff until/only[S] know/(see) joke/nonsense/(dream)
-- "(But the answer to that question... | is that only the actual deed is a crime; awareness is meaningless.)"
[I'm *really* not sure about a lot of these lines; the translation ribosomes in my brain cell may be getting pooped out for now. Still, I'll have to go back to the preface at some point, though I'm not sure how much insight it'll really offer. Also, conflicted semi-happy-dance that my characterization of Enishi matches up with this doujinshi's even though I wasn't sure what was going on here at the time... the thing is, while violent obessive jealousy is commonly reduced to a sign of devotion in popular culture-- how many so-called "love songs" really have the lyrics of stalkers or date-rapists when you really look at the words?-- in real life, it's seriously bad juju.]
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no subject
on 2006-09-25 09:32 pm (UTC)Anyway I just want to say that your ability to do this is amazing. Very much looking forward to when you're all done with this one.
no subject
on 2006-09-26 01:49 am (UTC)Yamaguchirow has definitely warmed me up to K/K, but sometimes I still have indignant thoughts about the way Kenshin conducts his relationship with Kaoru in canon-- oh sure, he's punctiliously courteous and gentle with her all of the time, but in a way, that behavior is still a rigid sort of control he clamps down between them. He probably has at least a subconscious conviction that women who love him tend to die-- his mother (and sister(s), if any; Watsuki barely said anything about Kenshin's sibs except that he had some, who also died from the cholera epidemic), the slavers' girls, Tomoe-- but sheesh, did he ever actually tell Kaoru that she was the person who meant the most to him before he thought she was *dead*? Oh sure, she was the only person he said goodbye to when he left for Kyoto... but did he actually *say* anything meaningful to her that might've kept her from collapsing into a heap for the next week or two?
Whereas Enishi... yeah, he's a psychotic killer with serious issues, but the entire core of his character is built around expressing single-minded devotion for the woman he loves. He doesn't have any sense of egotism or selfishness beyond that-- *everything* he's ever done is to avenge Tomoe without wanting to keep anything for himself. If he could be weaned away from the memory of nee-san toward some other woman (and hey, why not Kaoru? he does associate her with Tomoe already for various reasons), yowzah.
(Although Tomoe probably never fed him anything resembling the results of the Kamiya Kitchen of Pain. Oog.)
no subject
on 2006-09-26 02:46 pm (UTC)And then there's Enishi, yes he was, if anything, very devoted. Of course while I was reading the Jinchuu arc I was really hoping to see Kaoru mend Enishi like she did Kenshin but alas Watsuki didn't feel my hopeful vibes. Of course that could be because the story was already long written. But then again I guess she did in a way by giving him Tomoe's diary.
I guess I can see her with either one really although many would shoot me for even thinking of Kaoru and Enishi as a pair.
(Although Tomoe probably never fed him anything resembling the results of the Kamiya Kitchen of Pain. Oog.)
I loved that scene in the manga.. think they might have to hire a cook as I seriously doubt Enishi learned the culinary arts while wandering the streets of Shanghai. ^_^
no subject
on 2006-09-26 04:21 pm (UTC)Hm... I dunno about that; Enishi didn't look to be in much better shape after reading the diary than he did beforehand. (Who knows what sort of things Tomoe might've written in there about him that she never actually *said*-- "Yes! Kiyosato proposed to me, so now I can get out of this hellhole of a home! Dad just smiled vaguely at the news and then holed himself up in his room, as usual, but Enishi went completely batshit! Dammit, I hate that brat-- I swear that any of my kids look like him, I'll expose them at birth!")
Hopefully Oibore would've been able to finally form a connection with Enishi out in the dumps, though. In an antiparallel sort of way, there's also a hilarious doujinshi (miraculously, English-language and online, the second one in the RK section here (http://www.gwaddiction.com/izumi/arch/arch.htm); navigation with the doujin is within the narrow frame along the bottom) that shows Hiko grumpily taking on Soujirou as a student....
no subject
on 2006-09-27 11:37 am (UTC)Heh, yeah that is true. He still looked a bit rough, must be nee-san wasn't too gentle or maybe it was the fact that he still couldn't stomach her love for Kenshin. It must be hard to swallow the fact that his revenge for his sister was based solely on his own psychosis and not some beyond the grave retribution. Poor guy, gotta love him just for his messed up life.
Loved the doujinshi! Thanks! I really liked the Soujirou one but I would love to see Hiko taking on Enishi and the insanity that would ensue. Not too mention Kenshin's reaction to that.