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wombat1138Here we go again. This story is the centerpiece (pp 11-37) of Scarred Over, a Yamaguchirow doujinshi from 1998.
Format key:
= raw romaji: [kanji], hiragana, KATAKANA, words-linked-inna-phrase, (handwritten text, usually thoughts/commentary), ~sound fx~
- expanded transcription: grammatical contractions unpacked from the raw transcription if necessary (e.g., inna <- in a)
= raw gloss: [word function], literal-translation
Narrative
[snarky notes]
-- "occasional coherent(ish) translations"
Pagination: #N#
Framebreaks: +++
Balloonbreaks: | (I'm not always consistent about putting these in; in fact, I'm not always consistent in general.)
Frame/balloon order is from right to left and from top to bottom. The kana for "tsu" is sometimes used to indicate a glottal stop, as in an abrupt break in speech; in those cases, I'll transcribe it as "*" instead.
Warning: As usual, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing here, other than juggling a lot of reference books. Suggestions/corrections by anyone who actually knows Japanese will be welcomed, treasured, and garlanded with shimenawa.
#11#
[title page; all text in English]
#12#
First panel: pic of Kaoru's dojo from outside. Haven't bothered comparing the blurry sign to the original manga, though the first two characters look like "Kamiya"; the rest is probably "Kasshin Ryuu" or "fine cuisine" or whatever Watsuki usually puts there.
+++
= ...n* | ~zu*...~ | ...a | a
[These belong to Kaoru and/or Kenshin. Can't tell which one of them is making which noises, but it probably doesn't matter yet. I think "zu" is intended as a sound effect rather than dialogue, considering the next panel; if so, it represents the gradual flow of liquid as in seeping or drooling. Since I can't think of a contextually-appropriate English equivalent at the moment-- "squish"? don't think so-- I'm going to leave it there for now. Everything else is just moaning.]
+++
Kaoru:
= ha...a | a IYA
[More moaning. Strictly speaking, "iya (na)" is a nounlike adjective which means "icky" and is sometimes used to mean "no". This usage is probably the formalized "no please don't" protest which doujinshi women often make during fully-consensual sex, rather than an actual indication of non-consent; I'm tempted to flip the translation for the sake of cultural context.]
-- "Ah..h | oh DON'T" (or "oh YES")
Kenshin:
= sonna*
[At least I assume this is him, since his speech balloons are usually more restrained than Kaoru's during sex.]
-- "That way" or "Just like that"
crotch noises:
~ nyaPO* ja* nuPO
[Not sure about these, but comparison with my usual online reference for sound effects suggests a cross between "nyoro nyoro" (which Oop-Ack explains as "Something long and thin like a snake moving along with a wriggling motion"), the familiar "nuru nuru" of slathering liquid over an object, and perhaps "supo" (their words again: "the sound of tight something being pulled off (or pulled out)". The "ja" in the middle may or may not be the same as "water/liquid flowing". My conclusion is that so far, they're moving at a fairly slow, sinuous pace.]
~ "writhe drip slither"?
Kaoru:
= a a*
+++
Him:
= shi--* | [koe] wo [koro]shite...
= [hushing noise?] | voice [object] murdering
[Luckily for Kaoru, "(thing) wo korosu" is also an idiom for suppressing emotions or holding back one's tears.]
-- "Sh-- | keep your voice down..."
Her:
= HAA... | datte...
[The second balloon probably has some form of the copula, the equivalence verb, but I'm not sure whether it's the single-word gerund "datte" (being) or the two words "da 'tte", which would be the plain form + annoyance suffix (is/am/are, dangit!). Or it could be a mutant form of "demo" (but). May as well split the difference between the latter two.]
-- "AAH... | but I *am*..."
#13#
Him:
= [kan]jiru no?
-- "Is that how you feel?"
+++
Her:
= HAA... ~ha DO* DO* DO* ha~
[panting and loud heartbeats]
Him:
= ~funi*~ ...un
-- ~(the sound of him tapping her mouth with his finger?)~ "...Yeah"
[informal analogue of "hai" (yes)]
+++
= demo [suko]shi... | [gaman] shite
= but short-interval | self-restraint doing
-- "But for the moment... | restrain yourself."
Her:
= n* ~gui*~
= [moan] [gulping noise]
He curves the the knuckle of his forefinger into her mouth, not tightly enough to really gag her; I suppose she can bite down on it if she wants to, though.
+++
background fx: ~ZU ZU ZU~ (vigorous motion and/or liquid flowing; "pump goosh pump"?)
Him: HAA* | N
Her: ha* | nn* | fu* muu
More moaning, and some muffled noises from Kaoru along the lines of "Mmph, fmph".
#14#
Him:
= [Kaoru] | ~giri~
["giri" is the sound of something stretched to the limit, perhaps approximately ~thisclose~ ; he seems to be involuntarily cramming his hand harder into her mouth.]
Her:
= fu-- | mu* | mu--n (nn--) | n*
The muffled noises continue, unsurprisingly.
+++
background fx: JU*PU JUBU (related to the "jururu" drooling noise plus some sort of impact/friction?)
~ "goosh thumpa thumpa"?
somebody: nn*
+++
Kenshin clamps his hand completely over her mouth; apparently she bites down on it: ~hamu~ (chomp)
background fx: ZU* ZU* (pumpety pump)
Him: n* | a
+++
big splooshy-looking katakana: IKUN
[emphatic orgasm, from the verb "iku" (go)]
+++
somebody:
= ha--* | ha--* (panting noises)
Him:
= ~funya~ | gomen...
-- (deep sigh)| "I'm sorry..."
#15#
Her:
= nande [ayame]ru no?
= why apologize [particle]
-- "Sorry for what?"
Him:
~HAA...~ (deep sigh)
= e sono...
= [particle] that...
[Because of the line spacing, I'm guessing that this "e" is the sort that usually begins an incredulous statement/question, rather than another informal equivalent of "yeah".]
-- "Huh? Well..."
= ([ushina]-ni... | itta kara... chikusho-- ato(?)chotto datta no-ni--)
= in-losing | [verb] because... [expletive]-- small-amount-more was despite
["Itta" could either mean "went" or "was necessary"? "Chikusho" literally means something like "barnyard critter" but is usually translated as "Damn!" or "Shit!" to convey the general emotion. The question mark is scrawled in as part of the original, with an arrow pointing somewhere in the middle of "ato chotto." ]
-- "Because... I didn't let you... dammit-- even though you were so close (weren't you?)"
[Oooh. Now I get it-- she didn't have her own splashy "iku" moment back there, did she?]
+++
Her: ~kusu~ (chuckle/giggle)
+++
= [onna] wa ne | ~chu~
= woman [topic] [agreement shill] | [kissy noise]
-- "That's just how women are, you know?" | ~kissy~
Him: ~N*~ (being-kissed noise?)
Her:
= kou shite'ru dake de [mi]tasareru-no # dakara [ki] ni shinaide (n...)
- shite'ru <- shite iru ; "#" was a little heart glyph in the original
["ki" is frequently translated as "warrior's spirit", but has the more general sense of "spirit" or "mind" as well; "ki ni suru" is an idiom for worrying or fretting.]
= this is-doing only from being-satisfied[noun] # therefore spirit in don't-do (followup kissy noise)
-- "We can't always be satisfied just from doing this (i.e, from making love) # so don't worry about it."
[Wish I had a more solid basis for that than guesswork/paraphrase.]
+++
Him:
~GORO*~ (rolling over onto his back, "flop")
~gui*~ (squeezing her shoulder)
= sonna koto [i]warete-no [ki]-ni-suru de-gozaru....
= that-way thing being-said[noun] worry [de gozaru]
[Because I've been re-reading LMB's Vorkosigan books again, this time I'm tempted to translate Kenshin's archaic "de gozaru" copula as "belike". Translations of the phrase "sonna koto" in various contexts seem to be widely idiomatic rather than literal, which sucks for me.]
-- "Now that you've said that, that makes me worry, belike."
Her:
= ne* NeE HONTO na no yo!
-- "Hey... HEY! It's okay, really!"
= [Kenshin] ga... sono... [ugo]ite'ru toki-toka ano... SUGOkute...
- "toki-toka" variant of "doki-doki" (heartbeat)? "sugokute" is the continuative form of "sugoi", used when adding to an existing description.
= [name] [emphatic subject]... that... is-moving [motion?] that... and-great...
["ano" is farther away than "sono", like "way over yonder" vs. "right over there"; think I'll have to rearrange the grammar a bit.]
-- "You were... that was... the way you were moving was really wonderful, with that rumpety-pumpety rhythm..."
[Himura Kenshin: he's got a great beat and you can dance to him. Kaoru's reassurances are making *me* feel worried.]
[Had to break this sub-balloon into halves because the text was so long; this next line also belongs in this middle sub-balloon.]
= Itchau-no to wa [kan]ji[kata] ga [chiga]u 'tte yu--ka...
- "itchau" <- "itte shimau" (itte <- iku; shimau = put away, complete, finish), idiomatic in this case for "achieve full orgasm", I suppose.
["chigau" is one of the ten zillion idioms for saying "no" in Japanese without actually having to say "no". After several days, I'm going to figure based on comparisons to wot-club's IY translations that "yu--ka" is just a alternate pronunciation of "iu ka" (from "iu", speak/say). Argh.]
= finish-coming[noun] and [topic] way-of-feeling [emphatic subject] different [emotional marker] say-- [question]
-- "And you're wrong, I really DID come, that's how it felt! Though how should I put this..."
= moo [nega]i toki-wa tsuraI toki-mo aru shi IKE-no wa [isshun] dakedo
= more long when bitter/difficult before [inanimate-existence] and GO!(noun) [topic] instant however
- "isshun dakedo": just/even for a moment?
- recompress "aru shi" -> "arushi": probably-is? (cf. translation notes for CotS and Tenchi in Tokyo)
[chunking into larger pieces: "when longer-duration, before difficult is, and GO!(noun) momentarily"]
[I think I'll have to end up guessing about the same thing I did earlier, but was hoping to get better documentation. Sigh.]
-- "the longer we go on, the more awkward it gets for me, and then suddenly you want me to come NOW, all at once"
= ([watashi] wa... zutte ne...)
- "zutte": ? doesn't seem to be based on a verb; variation of "zutto" (far away, the entire stretch)? breakdown into "zu 'tte" (archaic negative + emotional marker)?
-- "(I really did... a while ago...)"? or maybe "(It's not your fault... it's just me)"?
[This entire speech is making me nuts. Cashews, please.]
+++
Kenshin looks suspicious.
Him: ~DOKI~ (heartbeat)
= sore 'tte DOKO ga donna KANJI?
= that [quote] HERE [topic] that-way SENSATION
["'tte" is actually reverting to its original use as a contraction of "to iu" here.]
-- "Are you saying that's how you felt just NOW?"
= (o, oyaji...)
["oyaji" is a disrespectful term for an old man; perhaps he's asking this in the manner of a cranky old geezer?]
Her: ~KAa~ (blush)
= wa--n | anmashi [ki]kanaide-- HAZUKASHI--
= [crying noise] | too-much not-hearing-- ASHAMED--
[idiomatic for paying attention, perhaps?}
-- "Waaah | don't read too much into this-- it's so EMBARRASSING--"
Him:
= ja [naosara] [ki] kitai #
- ja <- de wa
= [conjunction] furthermore spirit want-to-?
-- "So, do you want to give it another try?"
Her:
= mo*--KA* ~baki~
-- "Again--?!?" ~thump~
#16#
Format key:
= raw romaji: [kanji], hiragana, KATAKANA, words-linked-inna-phrase, (handwritten text, usually thoughts/commentary), ~sound fx~
- expanded transcription: grammatical contractions unpacked from the raw transcription if necessary (e.g., inna <- in a)
= raw gloss: [word function], literal-translation
Narrative
[snarky notes]
-- "occasional coherent(ish) translations"
Pagination: #N#
Framebreaks: +++
Balloonbreaks: | (I'm not always consistent about putting these in; in fact, I'm not always consistent in general.)
Frame/balloon order is from right to left and from top to bottom. The kana for "tsu" is sometimes used to indicate a glottal stop, as in an abrupt break in speech; in those cases, I'll transcribe it as "*" instead.
Warning: As usual, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing here, other than juggling a lot of reference books. Suggestions/corrections by anyone who actually knows Japanese will be welcomed, treasured, and garlanded with shimenawa.
#11#
[title page; all text in English]
#12#
First panel: pic of Kaoru's dojo from outside. Haven't bothered comparing the blurry sign to the original manga, though the first two characters look like "Kamiya"; the rest is probably "Kasshin Ryuu" or "fine cuisine" or whatever Watsuki usually puts there.
+++
= ...n* | ~zu*...~ | ...a | a
[These belong to Kaoru and/or Kenshin. Can't tell which one of them is making which noises, but it probably doesn't matter yet. I think "zu" is intended as a sound effect rather than dialogue, considering the next panel; if so, it represents the gradual flow of liquid as in seeping or drooling. Since I can't think of a contextually-appropriate English equivalent at the moment-- "squish"? don't think so-- I'm going to leave it there for now. Everything else is just moaning.]
+++
Kaoru:
= ha...a | a IYA
[More moaning. Strictly speaking, "iya (na)" is a nounlike adjective which means "icky" and is sometimes used to mean "no". This usage is probably the formalized "no please don't" protest which doujinshi women often make during fully-consensual sex, rather than an actual indication of non-consent; I'm tempted to flip the translation for the sake of cultural context.]
-- "Ah..h | oh DON'T" (or "oh YES")
Kenshin:
= sonna*
[At least I assume this is him, since his speech balloons are usually more restrained than Kaoru's during sex.]
-- "That way" or "Just like that"
crotch noises:
~ nyaPO* ja* nuPO
[Not sure about these, but comparison with my usual online reference for sound effects suggests a cross between "nyoro nyoro" (which Oop-Ack explains as "Something long and thin like a snake moving along with a wriggling motion"), the familiar "nuru nuru" of slathering liquid over an object, and perhaps "supo" (their words again: "the sound of tight something being pulled off (or pulled out)". The "ja" in the middle may or may not be the same as "water/liquid flowing". My conclusion is that so far, they're moving at a fairly slow, sinuous pace.]
~ "writhe drip slither"?
Kaoru:
= a a*
+++
Him:
= shi--* | [koe] wo [koro]shite...
= [hushing noise?] | voice [object] murdering
[Luckily for Kaoru, "(thing) wo korosu" is also an idiom for suppressing emotions or holding back one's tears.]
-- "Sh-- | keep your voice down..."
Her:
= HAA... | datte...
[The second balloon probably has some form of the copula, the equivalence verb, but I'm not sure whether it's the single-word gerund "datte" (being) or the two words "da 'tte", which would be the plain form + annoyance suffix (is/am/are, dangit!). Or it could be a mutant form of "demo" (but). May as well split the difference between the latter two.]
-- "AAH... | but I *am*..."
#13#
Him:
= [kan]jiru no?
-- "Is that how you feel?"
+++
Her:
= HAA... ~ha DO* DO* DO* ha~
[panting and loud heartbeats]
Him:
= ~funi*~ ...un
-- ~(the sound of him tapping her mouth with his finger?)~ "...Yeah"
[informal analogue of "hai" (yes)]
+++
= demo [suko]shi... | [gaman] shite
= but short-interval | self-restraint doing
-- "But for the moment... | restrain yourself."
Her:
= n* ~gui*~
= [moan] [gulping noise]
He curves the the knuckle of his forefinger into her mouth, not tightly enough to really gag her; I suppose she can bite down on it if she wants to, though.
+++
background fx: ~ZU ZU ZU~ (vigorous motion and/or liquid flowing; "pump goosh pump"?)
Him: HAA* | N
Her: ha* | nn* | fu* muu
More moaning, and some muffled noises from Kaoru along the lines of "Mmph, fmph".
#14#
Him:
= [Kaoru] | ~giri~
["giri" is the sound of something stretched to the limit, perhaps approximately ~thisclose~ ; he seems to be involuntarily cramming his hand harder into her mouth.]
Her:
= fu-- | mu* | mu--n (nn--) | n*
The muffled noises continue, unsurprisingly.
+++
background fx: JU*PU JUBU (related to the "jururu" drooling noise plus some sort of impact/friction?)
~ "goosh thumpa thumpa"?
somebody: nn*
+++
Kenshin clamps his hand completely over her mouth; apparently she bites down on it: ~hamu~ (chomp)
background fx: ZU* ZU* (pumpety pump)
Him: n* | a
+++
big splooshy-looking katakana: IKUN
[emphatic orgasm, from the verb "iku" (go)]
+++
somebody:
= ha--* | ha--* (panting noises)
Him:
= ~funya~ | gomen...
-- (deep sigh)| "I'm sorry..."
#15#
Her:
= nande [ayame]ru no?
= why apologize [particle]
-- "Sorry for what?"
Him:
~HAA...~ (deep sigh)
= e sono...
= [particle] that...
[Because of the line spacing, I'm guessing that this "e" is the sort that usually begins an incredulous statement/question, rather than another informal equivalent of "yeah".]
-- "Huh? Well..."
= ([ushina]-ni... | itta kara... chikusho-- ato(?)chotto datta no-ni--)
= in-losing | [verb] because... [expletive]-- small-amount-more was despite
["Itta" could either mean "went" or "was necessary"? "Chikusho" literally means something like "barnyard critter" but is usually translated as "Damn!" or "Shit!" to convey the general emotion. The question mark is scrawled in as part of the original, with an arrow pointing somewhere in the middle of "ato chotto." ]
-- "Because... I didn't let you... dammit-- even though you were so close (weren't you?)"
[Oooh. Now I get it-- she didn't have her own splashy "iku" moment back there, did she?]
+++
Her: ~kusu~ (chuckle/giggle)
+++
= [onna] wa ne | ~chu~
= woman [topic] [agreement shill] | [kissy noise]
-- "That's just how women are, you know?" | ~kissy~
Him: ~N*~ (being-kissed noise?)
Her:
= kou shite'ru dake de [mi]tasareru-no # dakara [ki] ni shinaide (n...)
- shite'ru <- shite iru ; "#" was a little heart glyph in the original
["ki" is frequently translated as "warrior's spirit", but has the more general sense of "spirit" or "mind" as well; "ki ni suru" is an idiom for worrying or fretting.]
= this is-doing only from being-satisfied[noun] # therefore spirit in don't-do (followup kissy noise)
-- "We can't always be satisfied just from doing this (i.e, from making love) # so don't worry about it."
[Wish I had a more solid basis for that than guesswork/paraphrase.]
+++
Him:
~GORO*~ (rolling over onto his back, "flop")
~gui*~ (squeezing her shoulder)
= sonna koto [i]warete-no [ki]-ni-suru de-gozaru....
= that-way thing being-said[noun] worry [de gozaru]
[Because I've been re-reading LMB's Vorkosigan books again, this time I'm tempted to translate Kenshin's archaic "de gozaru" copula as "belike". Translations of the phrase "sonna koto" in various contexts seem to be widely idiomatic rather than literal, which sucks for me.]
-- "Now that you've said that, that makes me worry, belike."
Her:
= ne* NeE HONTO na no yo!
-- "Hey... HEY! It's okay, really!"
= [Kenshin] ga... sono... [ugo]ite'ru toki-toka ano... SUGOkute...
- "toki-toka" variant of "doki-doki" (heartbeat)? "sugokute" is the continuative form of "sugoi", used when adding to an existing description.
= [name] [emphatic subject]... that... is-moving [motion?] that... and-great...
["ano" is farther away than "sono", like "way over yonder" vs. "right over there"; think I'll have to rearrange the grammar a bit.]
-- "You were... that was... the way you were moving was really wonderful, with that rumpety-pumpety rhythm..."
[Himura Kenshin: he's got a great beat and you can dance to him. Kaoru's reassurances are making *me* feel worried.]
[Had to break this sub-balloon into halves because the text was so long; this next line also belongs in this middle sub-balloon.]
= Itchau-no to wa [kan]ji[kata] ga [chiga]u 'tte yu--ka...
- "itchau" <- "itte shimau" (itte <- iku; shimau = put away, complete, finish), idiomatic in this case for "achieve full orgasm", I suppose.
["chigau" is one of the ten zillion idioms for saying "no" in Japanese without actually having to say "no". After several days, I'm going to figure based on comparisons to wot-club's IY translations that "yu--ka" is just a alternate pronunciation of "iu ka" (from "iu", speak/say). Argh.]
= finish-coming[noun] and [topic] way-of-feeling [emphatic subject] different [emotional marker] say-- [question]
-- "And you're wrong, I really DID come, that's how it felt! Though how should I put this..."
= moo [nega]i toki-wa tsuraI toki-mo aru shi IKE-no wa [isshun] dakedo
= more long when bitter/difficult before [inanimate-existence] and GO!(noun) [topic] instant however
- "isshun dakedo": just/even for a moment?
- recompress "aru shi" -> "arushi": probably-is? (cf. translation notes for CotS and Tenchi in Tokyo)
[chunking into larger pieces: "when longer-duration, before difficult is, and GO!(noun) momentarily"]
[I think I'll have to end up guessing about the same thing I did earlier, but was hoping to get better documentation. Sigh.]
-- "the longer we go on, the more awkward it gets for me, and then suddenly you want me to come NOW, all at once"
= ([watashi] wa... zutte ne...)
- "zutte": ? doesn't seem to be based on a verb; variation of "zutto" (far away, the entire stretch)? breakdown into "zu 'tte" (archaic negative + emotional marker)?
-- "(I really did... a while ago...)"? or maybe "(It's not your fault... it's just me)"?
[This entire speech is making me nuts. Cashews, please.]
+++
Kenshin looks suspicious.
Him: ~DOKI~ (heartbeat)
= sore 'tte DOKO ga donna KANJI?
= that [quote] HERE [topic] that-way SENSATION
["'tte" is actually reverting to its original use as a contraction of "to iu" here.]
-- "Are you saying that's how you felt just NOW?"
= (o, oyaji...)
["oyaji" is a disrespectful term for an old man; perhaps he's asking this in the manner of a cranky old geezer?]
Her: ~KAa~ (blush)
= wa--n | anmashi [ki]kanaide-- HAZUKASHI--
= [crying noise] | too-much not-hearing-- ASHAMED--
[idiomatic for paying attention, perhaps?}
-- "Waaah | don't read too much into this-- it's so EMBARRASSING--"
Him:
= ja [naosara] [ki] kitai #
- ja <- de wa
= [conjunction] furthermore spirit want-to-?
-- "So, do you want to give it another try?"
Her:
= mo*--KA* ~baki~
-- "Again--?!?" ~thump~
#16#
no subject
on 2006-03-22 12:01 pm (UTC)Thank you!
no subject
on 2006-03-31 06:46 pm (UTC)